3 Out Of 4 Israelis Unable To Distinguish Herzog From Turnip

The unexpected relevance of turnips to a personality many expected to find more closely associated with waffles.

The turnip, right, shown with an acquaintance already convicted of corruption.

Jerusalem, January 20 – A new survey of the Israeli electorate finds that three quarters of voters cannot tell the difference between Opposition leader Isaac Herzog and a common root vegetable, raising questions for Herzog’s party and the Opposition in general.

The study polled more than seven hundred adult Israelis last week, and found that only 175 could assert with confidence which of two images depicted a turnip, and which showed the Labor Party and Zionist Union faction head. The authors of the study say the results were surprising both for their political implications and for the unexpected relevance of turnips to a personality many expected to find more closely associated with waffles. The results were published today in the journal Research into Opposition-Oriented Tommyrot (ROOT).

“We surveyed a sampling of people on the street in Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, Haifa, Ashdod, Ashkelon, Beersheva, Bet Shean, and Rehovot, in addition to several smaller groups from Tel Aviv suburbs,” said Rut Abaga, lead author of the study, conducted on behalf of Tel Aviv University. “We found very little variation among the respondents in geographic terms, which indicates the confusion between Herzog and a turnip spans the society. What I believe warrants further study is the extent to which anyone actually cares.”

A spokesman for the Vegetable Council sounded a cautious note, but said that if the study’s findings are accurate, turnip marketers may have to make an effort to distinguish their product from the Opposition leader. “Turnip growers have enough problems – no one needs to tell them their product lacks pizzazz,” said Yosef Telem. “But we’re going to have to take this pretty seriously if more studies bear this out. I knew some of our produce had limited appeal, but I didn’t know it was this bad.”

The findings are already causing discontent in the Labor Party, where those jockeying for position have seized on the data as proving either that it is time for a change in leadership or that Herzog has helped steer the party away from far less desirable outcomes. “This is an outrage,” declared MK Shelly Yechimovich, a former chairwoman seen as a potent rival. “The leader of Israel’s most venerable party should at least be distinguishable from cabbage. That the people cannot differentiate him from a turnip is a disaster.” She said no one would confuse her for such things.

Herzog loyalists jumped to his defense. “Ms. Yechimovich might want to keep in mind that at least… what’s his name… is distinguishable  from, uh… that other big root vegetable. Is it a radish? I think it’s a radish. Merav, what’s the difference between a turnip and a radish?” asserted MK Stav Shaffir, addressing Merav Michaeli.

Abaga said the researchers shared several vignettes that helped illuminate the data. “We had one guy – in his sixties, owns a villa in Caesarea – who looked at both images, and, with a twinkle in his eye, said, ‘Not totally sure, but I eat either one for breakfast.'”