“Our teachers will be free to discuss the German-led extermination of Jews in Europe, provided they phrase their lessons to imply that the Nazis had no choice but to kill all the Jews threatening to overrun Birkenau, Belsen, Mauthausen, and Sobibor, for example, in huge numbers.”
Ramallah, January 28 – Palestinian education officials marked yesterday’s observance of International Holocaust Memorial Day with an announcement that they will permit Palestinian schools to inform students about Nazi Germany’s attempt to exterminate the Jews, as long as the educational materials follow the standard terminology current in official Palestinian descriptions of Jewish movement, such as referring to Jews’ arrival as “storming” the various concentration, labor, and death camps to which they were deported.
Minister of Education Hajj Husseini and Ministry Director-General Wafa Nesses told reporters at a press conference Sunday afternoon that the Palestinian Authority and its president, Mahmoud Abbas, will adjust its policies to reflect a more enlightened, historically responsible policy in its schools, where until now teachers have operated under instructions to ignore, downplay, or deny the Holocaust. Henceforth, they explained, the genocide will feature in all Palestinian curricula for secondary education, but adapted for accepted Palestinian locutions that refer to Jews going anywhere as if that were a brazen, provocative act on the part of said Jews.
“We have commissioned new textbooks for the 2019-2020 academic year, and hope they will be ready in time,” pronounced Ms. Nesses. “At the very latest we anticipate bringing the new materials into circulation by the following academic year – that is, the seventeenth year of President Abbas’s four-year term. For some time we have made efforts to bring our students’ education in line with international standards, though that has long conflicted with our sensibilities dictating that nothing Jewish be given sympathy, let alone legitimacy. The ministry convened a committee to explore the ways in which those conflicting aims might be reconciled, and I am happy to say that they succeeded. Our teachers will be free to discuss the German-led extermination of Jews in Europe, provided they phrase their lessons to imply that the Nazis had no choice but to kill all the Jews threatening to overrun Birkenau, Belsen, Mauthausen, and Sobibor, for example, in huge numbers.”
“I am extremely proud of the innovation and creativity that went into producing this moment,” beamed Minister Husseini. “It is only fitting that the spirit of the words the original Haj Amin Husseini used in inciting riots against the Jews of Palestine the 1920’s and 30’s, that they are ‘storming’ Al Aqsa when they visit their own holy sites, now be applied to the death camps. It is doubly fitting that Mufti Husseini invited the Germans to implement their Final Solution here in Palestine. It would have been some sight, watching Jews storm the ditches where our homegrown Einatzgruppen would force them to strip naked, then mow them down with machine gun fire.”
“We can still dream of their storming into the sea,” he added.
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