Dinosaurs OK With Extinction After Hearing About Progressives Supporting Islamists

“We never saw an allosaurus do anything that dumb, and their brains are no bigger than ours, if you catch my drift.”

Late Cretaceous, May 13 – Reptiles that ruled the earth for 120 million years before an asteroid impact ushered in climatic shifts that wiped out most of them expressed relief that they met their demise long before their planet produced the baffling, disturbing phenomenon of self-professed tolerant, liberal humans welcoming the intolerant, repressive influence of political Islam.

Representatives of the tyrannosaurus, stegosaurus, brachiosaurus, velociraptor, triceratops, and numerous other prehistoric reptilian species told reporters today (Monday) that they prefer their fate of perishing of starvation, cold, and related maladies to living at the same time as creatures whose idea of ethics involves characterizing a violent supremacist movement as victims deserving of accommodation.

“We used to have some serious objections to the divine plan that called for most of us to die out,” explained a pachycephalosaurus. “There was some serious suffering involved in that event, that process. For many ages we’ve held grievances against the Creator and demanded He address our complaints, but He told us to wait sixty million years or so and our attitude might change. Well, He was right, of course. There is no way my species, even the larger cohort of life forms that the asteroid killed, would want to come close to witnessing such a distortion as progressives empowering the least progressive elements of humanity. And here we thought humans were apex predators, but all the apex predators we ever encountered weren’t this stupid and self-destructive.”

“I’m with the little guy,” concurred a diplodocus. “We never saw an allosaurus do anything that dumb, and their brains are no bigger than ours, if you catch my drift. The monumental short-sightedness of these progressives makes me grateful we’re separated on Earth by eons. There are times when I think even 150 million years isn’t enough. I’m embarrassed to call home the same planet as they.”

A representative of the Almighty noted that the dinosaur community did not stand alone in questioning the wisdom of human existence. “Various ministering angels have from time to time raised objections regarding humanity,” recalled Gabriel. “The Lord has reassured us that human volition must carry the real risk of cataclysmic stupidity. We trust our Creator’s judgment and His patience, knowing that in the long run the decision to create humanity will prove constructive. In the meantime, though, I must say that personally, well, damn.” The angel conceded that he probably lacks the ego necessary to understand what motivates the virtue-signaling progressives to behave as they do.

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