Liz Warren Inspired By Palestinian Dedication To Lost Cause

“I, too, persist in categorizing myself as indigenous to a place when in reality, my ancestors were the colonizers.”

Credit: Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons

Boston, March 5 – A Massachusetts senator campaigning to become the Democratic Party’s nominee for the next US presidential election, and who has failed so far to attract a significant share of the party’s voters to support her but insists on staying in the race, revealed today that her persistence stems in part from the example that Palestinian leaders have set over the last seven-plus decades, sticking with the goal of eliminating Jewish sovereignty in the ancestral Jewish homeland despite the hopelessness of the endeavor and the increasing irrelevance of that goal to once-sympathetic allies.

Fresh off a poor showing in her own state, Senator Elizabeth Warren vowed today to keep campaigning until the Democratic National Convention in July, invoking the precedent of Palestinian groups and leaders sworn to the destruction of Israel who enjoy less and less of the world’s attention as their refusal to bow to reality has driven away longtime supporters and rendered them an afterthought amid more pressing issues.

“I persist,” declared Warren after coming in a distant third to former Vice President Joe Biden and Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders in her home state amid a disastrous showing elsewhere this week on Super Tuesday. “I persist like the Palestinian Arabs who rejected the 1937 Peel Commission partition proposal, which in  turn led to a less-generous UN partition plan in 1947, which they also rejected and chose war; I persist like the refugees who believe their situation unique among all populations, that they and their descendants ad infinitum maintain refugee status unless they get to move to where Israel is now, as I maintain my movement has ‘momentum’ despite all indications to the contrary.”

“I persist,” she continued, “as their leaders kept inciting them to attack the newborn Israel, leading to two regional wars in which their side lost even more territory. I persist like the Khartoum Declaration that demanded the dissolution of Israel even after the calamitous loss of the 1967 war. I persist as my Palestinian inspiration has persisted, proclaiming the inevitable victory of my cause even as the already-remote possibility of that happening recedes further and further into the hypotheticals of history. I, too, persist in categorizing myself as indigenous to a place when in reality, my ancestors were the colonizers.”

“In any case,” she concluded, “it’s always important to have someone to blame if things do not turn out as I desire, and as some of my choices in hiring staff for this campaign indicate, I have little inherent problem with those who, like the Palestinian leadership, blame Jews for setbacks, so that’s something else we have in common.”

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