‘Groundhog Day’ A Little Too On The Nose As Description Of Biden Iran Policy

Connors could swear we lived through this whole scenario already, and it didn’t turn out well.

Punxsutawney, February 2 – Meteorologist Phil Connors acknowledged that the emerging policy of the new presidential administration toward the Islamic Republic of Iran and the latter’s nuclear weapons ambitions convinces him that he is living yesterday over again, with yesterday in this case the Obama administration’s attitude toward the same issue.

The weatherman for WPBH-TV Pittsburgh, on his seventh annual trip to this hamlet in Western Pennsylvania, observed this morning that the apparent embrace by the Biden team of Obama-era assumptions, attitudes, and personnel vis-à-vis Iran’s nuclear weapons program – among the regime’s other hegemonic ambitions – makes him swear he lived through this whole scenario already, and it didn’t turn out well.

“Well, it’s Groundhog Day… again,” Connors began with a forced smile, “and I’m pretty sure this whole ‘Let’s make concessions to Iran and thus enable them to shorten their timeline to atomic weapons and the delivery systems for those weapons’ thing has been tried already. No one else around here, or in the president’s inner circle, appears to notice we’re repeating yesterday’s mistakes that only emboldened the mullahs in their ethnic cleansing, repression of dissent, persecution of homosexuals, financing of international terrorism, and fomenting instability.”

“Definitely seen this before,” continued Connors. “Except in this scenario, I can’t see myself leveraging my foreknowledge into getting my hands on serious dough, getting laid, or impressing random strangers. And I thought my original situation was depressing.”

The déjà vu surrounding the 2015 Iran nuclear deal – known as the JCPOA, or Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action – extends beyond the behavior of the Khamenei regime in Iran, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Yemen, Gaza, and Saud Arabia. It also readopts the fruitless attitude that only resolving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict will lead to broader Israel-Arab normalization; that only pressure on Israel can induce any change in the Israeli-Palestinian dynamic; and that recognizing Israeli claims in the Golan, Jerusalem, and Judea/Samaria will lead to increased violence. Connors wondered whether the current impending repeat would make a more epic story than his.

“I guess the difference would be that in my case, I have the opportunity to improve myself and emerge as the hero in a private odyssey of repentance, of emerging nobility of spirit,” he posited. “Whereas when it comes to Iran, repeating the same mistakes, thinking they’re a good idea, will only lead to the war the deal’s opponents insist it’s the only way to prevent, you bloodthirsty warmongering Netanyahu shill. Six more weeks of nuclear winter.”

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