Family Waiting Since Mid-Passover To Get Into Jerusalem Zoo Finally Reaches Front Of Line

“There are no bathrooms right outside the zoo, so let’s just say avoid that spot over there behind the trees.”

Jerusalem, April 6 – A couple with four children who decided a visit to the city’s largest picturesque and eclectic menagerie of creatures would provide them with an enjoyable way to spend a day of their Passover holiday finally managed to get to the ticket window this morning, following nearly five days spent in the queue with probably every other Israeli family plus assorted others.

Adi and Shmuel Stern of the Jerusalem suburb Mevasseret Tziyon brought their offspring to the Tisch Family Zoological Gardens this past Thursday morning – commonly known as the Biblical Zoo – a popular destination during Passover. This year, as Israel opens up again amid a greatly diminished threat of COVID-19, the zoo has proved an even more desirable attraction, as not a single other family in the country decided to go anywhere else that day. The Stern family reached the front of the box office queue at approximately 10:00 AM today, nearly five days after they began their wait.

“We’re almost out of food, too,” observed Adi. “Some people had to leave and get supplies during the wait, or at least send someone to go bring them, but I’ve always had my mother’s tendency to bring a lot of food just in case. Also, there are no bathrooms right outside the zoo, so let’s just say avoid that spot over there behind the trees.”

Her husband credited her with foresight but also noted that the time spent preparing all that food may have cost them the chance to gain admission to the zoo the previous afternoon. “It’s a balance you sometimes have to strike,” he acknowledged. “But better to spend more time preparing than suffer from lack of preparation. Truth is I’m not as disappointed by this experience as I am about missing the chance to see a lion tear apart a rabbit.” Shmuel referred to an incident the week before last in which zoo attendees, including children, witnessed a predator do what predators do, which for some reason many found traumatic, but which anecdotal reports indicate made the Biblical Zoo an even more attractive destination.

Zoo officials noted that the intermediate days of Passover and Sukkot, when most Israelis enjoy time off from work, have long brought large crowds to the venue, but this year has proved even more challenging in that regard. “This might be the most crowded we’ve ever been,” stated Chief of Maintenance and Management Rafi Ki. “What most folks don’t realize is that it’s all an elaborate mechanism to put a whole bunch of human together in a parking lot for a long time and observe what happens.”

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