PreOccupied Territory Erectio- Corrections! We Mean Corrections!

By PreOccupied Territory Staff

A January 27th Article entitled, “UN Insecurity Council Denounces Self” quoted an expert as characterizing the Council as troubled by issues of self-confidence, self-deception, and hypocrisy. It should also have included comical self-aggrandizement.

In the January 29th article, “Saudi Arabia Outlaws Women,” the reporter failed to mention a provision of the new law allowing the keeping of women who have already been gang-raped for suspected immorality, as is standard practice in many Islamic societies. The writer has been informed of her fate if such an error recurs.

The February 3rd article, “Israeli Theorists Posit Cheeses Other Than ‘Yellow,’ ‘White’,” identified “white cheese” as a variety of the European cheese Quark. It should have said, “a variety of nasal mucus.” We apologize for any misunderstanding, or accidental ingestion, this may have created.

The February 5th article, “Tel Aviv University Retracts Nasrallah Invitation; ‘Too Zionist’,” should also have included the following quote from the university administration: “Anyone who shows an attachment to this land, or spirituality of any sort, has no place in this institution.”

A February 9th article about the BBC apologizing for omitting anti-Israel bias from a story neglected to blame Israel for the affair. PreOccupiedTerritory regrets the error, which was you-know-who’s fault.

The February 10th article “Dementors Leave Gaza Strip; ‘Our Work Here Is Done‘,” gave an incomplete list of potential follow-up locations ripe for concentrated Dementor activity. In addition to Syria, Afghanistan, and Detroit, the article should have mentioned the Comments section on YouTube.

An op-ed piece on February 16, “Wördy Shmurdy Gurdy Israel, Palestinians Börk! Börk! Börk!,” was incorrectly transcribed. There should be an additional “Um de hur de hur de hur” at the end of the second paragraph.

The section entitled, “And Now A Word From Our Sponsors” is mislabeled. It should be called, “Please click on these ads at least five times because our children are starving and Bobby needs insulin we need the validation that comes with plentiful pay-per-click revenue, you heartless monster.” PreOccupied Territory regrets the error.