Palestinians Upset IDF Gaza Action Caused No Civilian Casualties

Gaza City, Gaza Strip, March 13 – Leaders of various Palestinian factions are expressing their dismay today that Israel’s retaliation for rocket fire from the Gaza Strip did not kill any noncombatants.

Israel attacked and killed the crew of a rocket launcher earlier this week as the crew was preparing to launch the weapon at Israel. Enraged that Israel would not wait to be attacked before taking action, Islamic Jihad militants, condoned by Hamas, launched more than 100 rockets at Israel. Almost one third fell short, but those that did get through caused some damage and no casualties. IDF aircraft and tanks hit dozens of targets in the Gaza Strip overnight, hitting Islamic Jihad and Hamas resources but hurting no one, thus depriving the terrorist organizations of an opportunity to parade injured or dead noncombatants before the international press and portray Israel as barbaric.

Even West Bank Palestinian leaders, distant from the fighting, made known their misgivings. “We condemn this Israeli aggression that did not provide the Resistance with a valuable PR opportunity,” said Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas, specifically withholding condemnation of the rocket fire that provoked Israel’s actions. He called on the Palestinians to unite under his leadership in administering the killing and maiming that Israel was unwilling to do.

Hamas and Islamic Jihad leaders made similar statements. “We are not interested in escalation if we will be unable to showcase our injured and decry the Zionist monster’s immoral behavior,” said Hamas spokesman Ziad Abu Ramzi.

“The Islamic Resistance cannot accept a Zionist attack that does not result in multiple women and children killed or bloodily injured,” echoed cell commander Ahmad Jbaili. He said his organization would redouble its efforts to engineer the deaths of Palestinian civilians, a feat that their own technology cannot accomplish as efficiently as they desire. “The Zionist blockade is unfortunately effective,” he noted, referring to Israeli efforts to cut off arms smuggling to militant groups.

In Israel, military planners were discussing nefarious ways of continuing to deprive their opponents of dead children.