Haman’s 50-Cubit Gallows Cited For Zoning Violation

Susa, Persian Empire – Prime Minister Haman Ben Hamedata has been charged with a fine of 50 silver pieces for erecting an unauthorized structure on his property, sources inside the palace reported today.

Eyewitnesses told PreOccupied Territory that upon returning from a meeting with King Ahashverosh and Queen Esther this afternoon, the minister held a brief consultation with several friends and relatives, and then went outside to put up a fifty-cubit-tall wooden gallows. Municipal inspectors came by soon afterwards and handed the head of the household a notice that because the structure exceeded ten cubits in height, it required a special zoning variance approval, and no application for such a variance had been received, and that continuing to maintain the structure without approval would result in a fine of fifty silver pieces.

City inspector Harvona Tishbi said that the fine would be waived if the gallows were removed, or shortened to less than ten cubits, within two days. After that time, said Tishbi, each day that the gallows remained standing would incur an additional charge of twenty-five silver pieces, with interest assessed on top of the pending charges as time passed.

Ben Hamedata was unavailable, but his wife, Zeresh, dismissed accusations of impropriety, and implied that her husband’s political opponents were behind a smear campaign. “Certain people are unhappy with Haman’s rapid rise to the top, and I wouldn’t be so indelicate as to name names, but we all know would stand to gain from his misfortune. Especially those who might fear the gallows being intended for them,” she offered, presumably referring to Mordechai Bilshan, a Jew with whom Ben Hamedata has had an on-again, off-again rivalry.

The enforcement of the fine remains in doubt even if the minister fails to remove or shorten the gallows. The Ben Hamedata clan enjoys important connections in the palace, and money has been known to change hands at the highest levels to allow the family free rein in many administrative arenas.

Royal spokesmen refused to comment, as they were occupied with preparing for another three-way summit tomorrow, and attempting to urgently locate certain chronicles in the royal archives.