“Glorying in the violent, targeted deaths of children because they are ‘agents of Apartheid’ or some other falsehood – well, that makes Allah glad He decided to gradually withdraw His favor from the Islamic world some time ago. Now the process will only accelerate.”
Jannah, February 23 – The creator and sustainer of the universe who reveled himself to a seventh-century Arabian tribesman and commanded him to bring a “corrected” version of the True Faith to humanity at the point of the sword if necessary acknowledged today that the track record of the movement in the last fourteen centuries indicates that granting divine imprimatur to a society that includes as some of its foremost representatives promoters of lethal violence to children under the pretext of those children being “settlers” or “occupiers” might, pending further consideration, constitute a misjudgment.
Allah, the almighty source of all reality and sole true divine entity, disclosed to several members of the supernal court that the relish with which Palestinian Muslims slaughter Jewish children indicates He might have to reassess His endorsement of their culture that took place in the early Middle Ages and served as the chief source of legitimacy for the potentates that extended from it for centuries afterwards.
“Calling an eight-year-old and a six-year-old at a bus stop ‘settlers’ or ‘colonialists’ was the real wake-up call,” a representative of the Almighty stated. “The dishonesty of calling dead Palestinian fighters of any age ‘children’ or whatever – that’s within the bounds of propaganda: false, but understandable on an emotional level. But justifying, nay, glorying in, the violent, targeted deaths of children because they are ‘agents of Apartheid’ or some other falsehood – well, that makes Allah glad He decided to gradually withdraw His favor from the Islamic world some time ago. Now the process will only accelerate.”
“If a person believes all it takes to make aiming to kill children – any innocents, really, but especially children, because people have a tendency to pretend adults are somehow less innocent – a moral act, then that’s the same justification the Nazis used,” explained the archangel Jibril. “Let us not delude ourselves into thinking that Nazi ideology is exactly foreign to this part of the world. It found fertile ground, especially among Palestinians. How bad could Nazis be, they reason, if their enemies were also the Jews? I mean, Mufti Husseini even promised the Nazis they could plan a Final Solution to the Jewish Question in Palestine. He recruited SS soldiers in Bosnia. The armies fighting Zionists in 1948 had former Wehrmacht advisers. Unlike Palestinian behavior in Gaza, this isn’t rocket science. So, it turns out, Allah accepts that certain parts of His endorsement of the Islamic Ummah might have been misplaced. We will be working to remedy that.”
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