“Anyone who doesn’t want what I’ve made is welcome to put together a peanut butter sandwich, as always.”
Jerusalem, June 1 – The father of a local family voiced his confidence today that the four liters of canola oil he used in preparing a single batch of mozzarella sticks last week will be rendered no a waste of money once he reuses the oil a few more times for other meals or snacks he can whip up with whatever’s available, such as deep-fried baby corn, deep-fried oranges, deep-fried salad, and deep-fried napkins, just to name a few.
Hillel Mizrahi, 44, assured his wife Yemima on Thursday that the family expenditures will not suffer adverse effects from what she had called “profligate” when he emptied four bottles of oil into the deep fryer on Saturday night, because he can reuse the oil in the fryer multiple times and not have to spend a shekel more, using food already in the house. He has since prepared deep-fried rolled oats, deep-fried olives, deep-fried leftover lasagna, and deep-fried hard-boiled eggs.
“I told you it would be worth it in the end,” he insisted. “You didn’t even want us to buy the fryer. But it’s so much easier to make donuts for Hanukkah this way, and we can reuse it a bunch of times before we have to dump the oil. It’s totally worth it.”
“I can get two or three more uses out of this oil still, easy,” he continued. “I’m thinking quinoa balls tomorrow, and maybe burekas after that.”
“Nobody’s eating,” objected Yemima.
“That’s their problem, not mine,” retorted her husband. “Anyone who doesn’t want what I’ve made is welcome to put together a peanut butter sandwich, as always.”
“I can deep fry it, too, if that’s what they prefer,” he added.
The Mizrahis purchased a new deep-fryer two weeks ago after their previous unit, which they had received as a gift, ceased functioning last year, after once- or twice-a-year use over the previous decade. Hillel overcame Yemima’s hesitation by arguing that numerous labor-intensive dishes take less time and effort with a deep-fryer. He acknowledged today that he had no specific dishes in mind when he asserted that, but figured he could come up with some if push came to shove, such as this week.
“I knew I couldn’t suggest deep-fried soy dogs – no one around here likes those,” he acknowledged. “Same goes for spinach quiche and avocadoes. So I have to go with foods I know they’ve eaten before. You want to try some deep-fried yogurt?”
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