“I think the ‘tank’ looks silly too, but that Battleship Potemkin Village has sailed.”
Gaza City, August 2 – The Islamist terrorist organization that governs this coastal territory is considering an upgrade to its display of prowess in the streets during an upcoming procession: in addition to a regular car dressed up as an armored fighting vehicle – including a green plastic “barrel” protruding rom the “turret” – the movement’s leadership is weighing whether to produce a mockup of an atomic weapon, sources within the organization disclosed today.
Hamas officials held discussions over the last few days to address a proposal that the boastful event feature the most powerful weapon, since that would make the most powerful rhetorical statement, the entire point of the exercise. Skepticism from several officials has delayed acceptance of the proposal.
“Is it really necessary?” wondered one official, according to an aide who recounted the discussions under condition of anonymity. “Everyone the tank is pretend. It’s a symbol, an aspiration, but still not totally outside the realm of possibility – and it represents a credible, if slightly farfetched, threat to the enemy, to instill fear. Adding a nuclear bomb to the display would ruin the effect. It would become a joke.”
Supporters of the move argued otherwise. “It is an expression of our rage and our resolve,” contended a proponent. “Our rage is nuclear. Our will to resist extends to every act we can manage, and if it were possible to wield nuclear bombs against the Zionist entity, we would do so in an instant! The enemy must know that!”
“The enemy knows that quite well,” countered an opponent. “We have shown it time after time, choosing to fight and invest in fighting rather than in ensuring the safety or prosperity of our people. A ‘nuke’ would just look silly. I think the ‘tank’ looks silly too, but that Battleship Potemkin Village has sailed. Probably on the water from the pretend dams Israel opens to flood Gaza when it rains.”
According to witnesses, the discussions devolved into a debate over what other weapons Hamas could pretend to have, and whether to prioritize the intimidation factor of the real weapon, or the plausibility of Hamas bringing the weapon to bear in conflict with Israel. The discussion invoked anti-aircraft missiles, thermobaric bombs, and, at one point, light sabers and a Death Star, which diverted the discussion into whether Israel might have such a weapon, and what possible protective measures Hamas and its militia allies in the Gaza Strip can deploy.
At press time, the ongoing discussion debated the feasibility of obtaining, possibly by kidnapping, a Jedi Master.
Please support our work through Patreon.
Buy In The Biblical Sense: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B92QYWSL
Fabulous Facebook Comments!
Glorious Google+ Comments!
Wordpress Comments