Israel Overshoots In Release Of Prisoners To Gaza, Hundreds Drown In Sea

Only the drivers survived.

Gaza City, December 12 – The government of Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu implemented a unilateral freeing of Hamas terrorists from the country’s detention facilities today, but, oops, didn’t stop the vehicles when the group reached Palestinian-controlled coastal territory and the two hundred violent convicted felons disappeared into the Mediterranean, never to be seen again.

A spokesman for the Ministry of Defense reported the incident this morning at a press conference. According to the official’s statement, on Tuesday morning Israel had loaded seven buses with convicted terrorists from the country’s prisons, primarily from Hamas but with smaller contingents from other terrorist groups, and sent the vehicles into the sections of the Gaza Strip that the Israel Defense Force has controlled ever since its ground offensive began in late October. The operation followed on preparatory air and artillery barrages in response to a Hamas invasion of southern Israel on October 7 that killed 1200 and perpetrated numerous atrocities.

“The seven buses ferrying three hundred terrorists left Megiddo Prison at seven thirty,” stated ministry Deputy Director-General Sasha Shem. “Many of them had been transferred from other facilities over the last several days so this could be done all at once. Our political leaders decided to release these prisoners as a goodwill gesture, in hopes that perhaps we can get back the remaining hostages abducted on October 7. Unfortunately, the buses didn’t stop once they reached Gaza, and just kept driving until they were totally submerged in the sea. Only the drivers survived.”

“It’s such a shame,” he added, with a shake of the head.

Other military and political officials agreed, as did numerous commentators. “Oh, how unexpected,” said veteran journalist Nahum Barnea. “What a solemn moment.”

“OK, moment’s over,” he continued, a second later. “Any important developments in Gaza? Got any good recipes?”

American representatives offered a similarly grim response. “Oh, how terrible,” intoned John Kirby of the National Security Council at the White House. “Does anyone have questions at today’s proceedings? I have some robust materials to share on Iranian attacks and Houthi piracy attempts, as well as some updates on Ukraine and some developments in sub-Saharan Africa. Thoughts?”

Human rights group Amnesty International offered no initial comment on the incident, having earlier prepared a raft of accusations against Israel regarding the country’s treatment of convicted Hamas terrorists, and they must now decide whether to scrap all that work by acknowledging those prisoners no longer exist, or ignore the deaths and continue to engage in their core activities.

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