Massie Renounces W. Virginia Birth To Avoid Accusations Of Dual Loyalty

He neglected to explain how the Congressman believes Zionism contradicts American patriotism.

Washington, December 14 – A Kentucky Congressman followed up today on criticism of his colleagues’ firm support of Israel with a disavowal of his origin and childhood in a different state, a spokesman for the legislator announced today.

Bill T. F. Sharry, an aide to the Republican lawmaker, told reporters at the Capitol this morning that Thomas Massie (R-KY) decided to put his money where his mouth was, and, after tweeting a meme that claimed Congress was rejecting patriotism in favor of Zionism, realized he must show consistency on the matter of his place of birth vs. the place he was elected to represent in DC.

“The Congressman is a man of principles, and if principles call for him to oppose foreign interests superseding American interests, then consistency demands that he also foreswear any loyalties to a different state from the one he now serves,” Sharry explained. He neglected to explain how the Congressman believes Zionism contradicts American patriotism.

“Up yours, West Virginia,” he added. “None of your pernicious influence will ever again penetrate Kentucky.”

Sharry also called on other members of Congress, in both houses, to follow Massie’s lead, and formally disconnect themselves from any former states of residence, as a hedge against dual loyalties.

“Too many of our representatives and senators hail from states where they lived before getting elected to Congress to represent their present states of residence,” he continued. “[Republican Senator from Texas] Ted Cruz was born in Canada, which I’m told isn’t even part of this country. Has he renounced loyalty to that foreign regime to the north? Or will we one day face a crisis in which Mr. Cruz has to choose between American interests and the interests of people whose idea of a good time is the so-called sport of curling? All elected officials, and all appointed or hired ones, for that matter, should renounce loyalty to any other state or locale, at once.”

Some critics opined that Massie’s move remains insufficient. “He got a degree from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology,” charged commentator Mike Cernovich. “We all know New England, the Boston area in particular, is a hotbed of degenerate liberal ideology and immorality. Massie spent years there, on and off. Now we’re supposed to just trust that none of that craziness rubbed off on him, that he has no compromising sympathies for them? No one’s impressed if you disavow West Virginia. West Virginians want to disavow West Virginia. It’s a cesspool. No, I take it back, that’s unfair to cesspools.”

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