by the Obama-Biden-Harris administration
Washington, August 12 – OMG I adore him he’s so dangerous I love the thrill of being with him. I want him to want me. To take me to the edge. It’s the danger for me. You think he’s abusive? Well, I can reform him. Love conquers all.
He’ll change for me. I know he’s treated me bad before. I know he treats others badly, but that’s only because of all the trauma life has thrown at him. It’s not really his fault, He just needs some nurturing, some unconditional love and care, to soften him. I can change him.
Iran is different from all the other men who’ve hurt me. I just know it. It feels different. I know better now. He really says all the right things! Yes, so did the others, but I can just sense the difference this time. I’ve learned what mistakes not to make. There’s hope for him and he just need my special loving touch to choose differently!
It’s not like my relationships with Pakistan, Afghanistan, or Saddam Hussein’s Iraq. This time is so different, you don’t understand. Iran just needs the right inducements and affection, and they’ll come around. I can feel the goodness behind that imperialist, terrorist exterior. He’s only hard because he’s been treated harshly. We just have to be extra-nice and everything will get better!
Oh, stop asking about my bruises, or those retraining orders, or his attitude toward the people all around him, or his illegal activities. Those aren’t the real Iran. You don’t know him like I do.
This is love. In love, not everything is always wonderful. Sometimes there’s pain. But it feels so good, so right, when he looks my way at the right time, like when I send him condolences over some natural disaster. The fact that you think it’s significant that he only visibly returns my affections and concessions on rare occasions only means you don’t understand our relationship. Maybe you don’t understand love at all.
Love is about growing together. I want us to grow together. You can’t grow if you’re already the perfect partner. Stop setting unrealistic expectations for an ally. It’s not my romantic delusion that’s unrealistic, it’s yours. You’re the one insisting the guy I choose has to be free of flaws, like a country that doesn’t foment instability in its region to exploit and effectively take over its neighbors in everything but name in pursuit of an imperialist ideology rooted in religious supremacism. Even if it was true, it won’t be true for long after he changes for my love.
I can change him. I know it’ll be great this time.
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