Biden Warns Incoming Administration: ‘Don’t’

“That was powerful,” remarked MSNBC commentator Rachel Maddow.

Washington, January 20 – The departing president had a brief but stern message of caution today to his successor, which analysts expect to have about the same effectiveness as when it was originally issued against Iran.

“Don’t,” Joseph R. Biden admonished Donald J. Trump today, just before the latter took his second oath of office.

“That was powerful,” remarked MSNBC commentator Rachel Maddow. “I just… who can fail to be moved by the poignant strength of that moment?” Biden first uttered the warning this past April against the Islamic Republic of Iran, when Tehran threatened to fire ballistic missiles at Israel. Iran then fired hundreds of them, and its proxies continue to do so, albeit significantly less since Israel effectively destroyed Hamas’s current fighting capacity in Gaza and Hezbollah’s in Lebanon, leading to a collapse of Iran puppet Basher Assad in Syria and leaving only the Houthis in Yemen to lob the occasional futile missile at Israel.

“Trump better listen,” cautioned former Washington Post columnist Jennifer Rubin. “Or all hell will break loose.”

“The poetry of it is, he didn’t even need to specify what, in particular, the incoming administration must not do,” expounded an editorial in The New York Times. “Whether it has to do with the southern border, the Middle East, China, Ukraine, European defense, tariffs, social policy, the economy, the judiciary, or any legislative agenda – it’s all subject to the single, eloquent, ‘Don’t’ that President Biden majestically uttered. Woe unto Trump if instead of don’ting, he does.”

Some analysts predict that Trump will, nevertheless, do. “He won’t be able to help himself,” argued activist Harry Sisson. “He couldn’t help himself lead an insurrection on January 6, 2021, beating cops to death with a stolen lectern. Or something? I don’t remember the particulars. I just know that Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez said she feared for her life from an entirely different building, and I have a crush on her so I want to side with her, on the off chance she’s open to a relationship with me. What was the question again?”

Members of the incoming administration appeared unaware that Biden had said anything. “I just heard some incoherent mumbling,” recalled prospective Secretary of State Marco Rubio. “That’s Joe on a typical Monday. It was his naptime, and he gets cranky at naptime. I’m pretty sure if he said, ‘Don’t,’ he was was warning his eldercare nurse not to forget the raisins in the oatmeal this time. He always fall asleep before he has a chance to eat the oatmeal hot. Poor guy.”

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