Bus Driver Running Late Relieved That Bomb Scare Gives Him Excuse

18 of the last 20 weekdays have seen him leave the depot at least 8 minutes past the posted time.

Bat Yam, February 26 – An operator for a public transportation company in the greater Tel Aviv area relaxed this morning after initial worries that commuters might vent anger at him for delaying them through his tardiness, because this time, he could could invoke the pretext of a security threat that prevented his vehicle from departing the depot on time – when, in fact, as most mornings, he simply failed to keep to the posted schedule again.

Itzik Shoval, 50, a driver with Dan Transportation, chuckled with relief just after seven a.m. today upon realizing that a bomb scare offered him the perfect excuse for his late arrival along the number 6 line from Bat Yam to Petah Tikva – even though regardless of such an incident, he would not have left at the right time anyway.

“Sorry, folks, bomb scare this morning,” he said to successive waves of passengers who boarded his bus in grumpy moods because of the wait. “So sorry. Damn terrorists.” Seven out of the last eight weekdays, and eighteen out of the last twenty, have seen Shoval leave the depot at least eight minutes past the posted time for his official 6:58 run.

“This has to stop,” he remarked to the elderly passengers in the front row of seats reserved for people of restricted mobility. “The government and the army have to go in once and for all and root out the terrorist networks.” His comments sparked a lively debate among the regular passengers in the front portion of the bus, relieving Shoval for several minutes of the anxiety that he might once again suffer accusations of incompetence and perpetual tardiness.

Most passengers’ frustration with the driver evaporated when they connected the news about the bomb with the scheduling snafu. They remained upset, but no longer had Shoval as the target of that frustration – except for two or three riders whose circumspection allowed them to remember that he rarely, if ever, keeps to the posted schedule.

“As excuses go, its not bad,” acknowledged Dana Ostroff, 49, who no now allows an extra fifteen minutes each afternoon at work to make up for each morning’s Shoval-induced delays. “Too bad it fails on the merits.”

Passengers have submitted numerous complaints to the Dan Transportation commuter ombudsman office. about Shoval’s habitual tardiness. Public sector union power, however, prevents effective disciplinary action against even the most incompetent members across multiple arenas, including transportation, health care, education, and bureaucratic clerks.

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