“It’s highly suspicious.”
Jerusalem, April 24 – Israeli prosecutors and law enforcement personnel expressed surprise and concern today upon discovering an advisor to a senior appointee of the Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu who, against the prevailing pattern among such figures, has never accepted bribes, salaries, gifts, or other remuneration originating in the machinations of the Al-Thank regime in Doha – and investigators believe that the man in question is but one of at least several such non-Al-Thani assets.
A member of the staff at the Office of the Prime Minister was found today not to be on the payroll of the Emirate of Qatar, contrary to all expectations and, some argue, to traditional protocol in government service, investigators disclosed this morning.
“We don’t quite know what to make of it,” admitted prosecutor Menu Trahl. “It just… doesn’t compute. We were definitely not prepared for this eventuality. It’s highly suspicious, a dramatic departure from normal. It requires serious further probing, though I have to say I don’t quite know what we’re supposed to do if we confirm it. It seems completely legal not to be on the take from Qatar. It’s not that we didn’t technically know that; it’s more that we didn’t consider the possibility of it being a thing, because, why would it?”
News broke last month about certain high-placed officials around the prime minister having accepted payments from entities linked to the government of Qatar, which intensified concerns about the Persian Gulf state’s manipulation of multiple regional parties and even of factions within Israel itself, such as an anti-Netanyahu and anti-war forum that purports to speak for the families of hostages held by Qatar-backed Hamas in the Gaza Strip. Against the backdrop of massive Qatari influence in western academia and politics, the phenomenon has raised the hackles of anyone not already resigned to the dominance of petrodollars.
“What’s weird here is that it’s not al all-pervasive as everyone assumed,” explained Mitch Lomax of the Brookings Institution, a Qatar-backed think tank. “Does this mean it can be stopped? We prefer not to explore that possibility. The idea that one should, on principle, not take money from Qatar? That would put so many people in my line of work out on the street. What probably happened is that this guy they found somehow slipped through the cracks. I can’t imagine anyone in politics refusing to be bankrolled by one of the richest regimes on the planet.”
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