The War Does Not Exempt You From Cleaning Your Room, Young Man

By Mom

I know we’re spending more of our time than usual in the bomb shelter, but let me be clear: this war does not exempt you from cleaning your room, young man. I will hear no more arguments.

Yes, there is tension in the air, and the very real possibility of getting injured, or worse, by an incoming rocket, but you listen to me and you listen to me well: you will tidy up that disaster area of yours or rockets will be the least of your worries. Now get to it.

The Home Front Command was very clear on this: we are to continue living our lives as usual, going about our regular routine. That means you pick up every last bit of dirty laundry, every game piece, and every accessory. Then you sweep up the dust. I’ll not have you thinking that the risk of flying shrapnel means it’s just dandy to leave your filthy underwear all over the floor. I get a conniption fit every time I pass by that room of yours, mister, and that’s a far more pressing issue than any Fajr-5 or M-75.

Don’t whine to me about not having enough time because of having to run to the shelter. You seem to have plenty of time for your texting, your games, and your shows. Instead of posting memes about Hamas on Facebook, spend a few minutes picking up after yourself. A clean room does wonders for how you feel, and when you come back from the bomb shelter you’ll feel welcomed by it.

At least you have a room! Treat it with respect! Do you know there are people out there whose homes have been destroyed? They would do anything to have a room to clean! And you sit there among your piles of who-knows-what and act like rooms are a dime a dozen. Well, that’s no way for a person to behave. How would you like it if a rocket came down and blew apart this sty of yours you call a room?

You’re darn tootin’ I’d make you clean up afterwards.