Secret Codes To Control World Economy Accidentally Tweeted

Later in the day the Supreme Council of Elders convened and issued a new protocol intended to prevent a recurrence of the leak.

Tel Aviv, February 26 – A rare mistake today by one of the shadowy Elders of Zion resulted in the temporary publication of secret codes used to manipulate the worldwide financial markets and the banking industry, resulting in a scramble to eliminate all traces of the information and wipe memories of the incident.

An Elder of Zion known even to close associates only as Fagin mistakenly let his mask slip after a meeting at the Tel Aviv Stock Exchange this morning when he forgot to switch usernames on his mobile device, and would up posting a series of the secret codes to various Twitter followers instead of sending them directly to an associate who needed the updated versions to help manipulate securities. Fagin realized his error in less than a minute, but not before several contacts called further attention to the data by commenting on it or asking questions.

The Council of Elders that normally handles crises had no time to convene to address the issue, but Fagin alerted the standby team tasked with first responses to impending exposure of the International Zionist Conspiracy™ (IZC), which took immediate action. The Twitter database was wiped clean of all traces of the original post, and crews of specialists were dispatched to the locations of the users who had reacted in some way to seeing the codes. The specialists administered memory-altering drugs, and little evidence of the snafu remained.

A secondary task force simultaneously enabled and implemented a backup set of codes, lest the securities exchanges in New York, Tokyo, London, Frankfurt, Hong Kong, and elsewhere function solely on the basis of market forces, putting the investments and institutions of the IZC at risk of not amassing all of the world’s wealth and resources for itself.

Normally, explained former IZC operative Schlemiel Putz, the codes are used to amortize the leveraged differential of debentures and revenue-based scalable fiduciaries, resulting in a margin elasticity that can be exploited at the inflection point. “IZC agents are constantly engineering fits of irrational exuberance among traders to facilitate the multivariable expropriation of straw-man asset paradigms,” he said. “That’s only possible when they have immediate recourse to the codes so they can swoop in and hedge the trusts on a cash basis against market share dilutions of the discount rate. If they don’t exploit that window immediately – it’s usually about eight-to-ten minutes – then regular investors will do their thing and the profits will go to the gentiles. Obviously, we can’t allow that.”

Later in the day the Supreme Council of Elders convened and issued a new protocol intended to prevent a recurrence of the leak.

(h/t antisionista.com, who sacrificed his life to bring us this information)