Man In Suit Addresses Other Men In Suits

Experts believe more people in suits will continue to talk about the first man in the suit in the weeks to come, unless something more compelling grabs the media’s attention, such as a piece of attire with ambiguous hues.

Washington, March 3 – A middle-aged man in business attire apparently just gave a speech to a gathering of other men in similar clothes, sources in the Capitol building are reporting.

The man, in his sixties, read from a stack of papers containing the words he pronounced to the assembled audience, which occasionally acknowledged the content of the address with applause. Some women were evidently also in attendance, but the vast majority of the audience, which numbered in the hundreds, consisted of men with grave expressions that broke only when offering said applause, which they did from a standing position. When the applause ended, the men sat down again. This occurred approximately two dozen times during the course of the speech.

Television cameras filmed the address, which took place in a facility where that reportedly happens with some frequency. Observers noted that the cameras focused primarily on the man making the speech, but every now and then turned to capture footage of attendees. The subject of the address was apparently of some importance to the speaker, as he repeatedly made dramatic gestures and intonations in keeping with a passionate delivery. The audience must also have felt strongly about the subject, observers say, as their own reactions indicated intense interest and agreement with the man’s message.

“People tend to stand and applaud as a group only when the event or information they are applauding resonates with them in a positive way,” explained behavioral psychologist Petra Nizing. “By extension, then, the behavior of the audience at this event demonstrates that whatever the man in the suit said, the people in the  room at the time were behind it.” She added that the phenomenon probably would not have been observed  to the same degree had the man been wearing, for example, overalls instead of the conservative dark suit.

“We have noticed that in the building where this speech took place, people tend to favor suits,” said FOX News analyst Forrest Forthtrijs. “Such sartorial sensibilities are consistent with what we know of people in Washington in general, especially white males.” Forthtrijs himself was wearing a gray suit when he made that observation.

It remains unclear what impact the man in the suit’s speech will have, but in its immediate aftermath, hundreds of other men and women in suits were engaged in discussions of the speech, some of which were also captured by television cameras. Experts believe more people in suits will continue to talk about the first man in the suit in the weeks to come, unless something more compelling grabs the media’s attention, such as a piece of attire with ambiguous hues.