Tibi Bill Would Require Every Natural Disaster To Include Israeli Deaths

The bill, cosponsored by Meretz MK Ilan Gilon, was sparked by initial reports of the deadly earthquake in Nepal in late April.

Jerusalem, May 5 – The twentieth Knesset opened yesterday with a legislative proposal that, if passed, would mandate at least one Israeli death in every natural disaster worldwide.

MK Ahmad Tibi of the United Arab List delegation submitted the bill, under which the Ministry of Foreign Affairs would be obligated to monitor emerging natural disasters and quickly dispatch citizens to die in the resulting carnage if none were already known to have succumbed. A secondary element of the proposal would, contingent on the success of the natural disaster program, expand the requirement after three years to include man-made disasters such as passenger jet crashes, ferry sinkings, and building collapses.

The bill, cosponsored by Meretz MK Ilan Gilon, stemmed from initial reports of the deadly earthquake in Nepal in late April. The fate of hundreds of Israelis known to be in the cataclysm vicinity remained unknown, leaving the country in limbo over whether they had lost anyone. Only this week was the death of the sole Israeli to perish – Or Asraf, 22 – confirmed. Tibi approached Gilon during that interim period and suggested the two collaborate on a proposal aimed at preventing such uncertainty from plaguing the society in the event of future disasters.

“The original draft of the proposal actually called for a minimum number of Israeli deaths in the double digits,” recalled Tibi. “I was thinking that shouldn’t be a problem, but I admit I was only thinking of disasters where Jew – I mean Israeli backpackers tend to go, such as the Far East and Latin America. Then Ilan reminded me of the tsunami in Myanmar, and the numerous disasters in China, and I realized mandating such a figure would be impracticable.” Tibi added that a compromise provision would have allowed the government to conduct killings at home to offset shortfalls of dead Israelis abroad, but that he and his constituency would not be satisfied without the knowledge that Mother Nature’s fury itself had directly contributed to the crushing, asphyxiation, immolation, dismemberment, or impaling of Jews.

No vote has been scheduled on the measure, but it is not expected to pass its preliminary reading. “Whether or not any coalition has been formally declared, we in the Opposition know not to expect cooperation from potential Coalition members,” lamented Gilon. “It’s too bad this important piece of legislation faces failure because the right-wing parties prefer to play politics instead of doing the responsible thing.”

A previous proposal by Tibi to drastically rename Israeli places and institutions to conform to the majority language of the Middle East never reached committee last session.