IAF Now Just Trolling Sudan With Fake Explosions

The officer declined to give specifics on how the IAF would accomplish its task, but some experts pointed to strong evidence that Israel had developed mass mind-control techniques.

Khartoum, May 15 – Hysteria surrounding repeated rumors and reports of explosions resulting from alleged Israeli air attacks on Sudanese facilities have prompted the Israel Air Force to dispense with actual sorties and rely on fake explosions to achieve the same psychological effect, a senior air force officer reported today.

Sudan has long served as a conduit for Iran to ship arms to Hamas in the Gaza Strip. Israeli planes have reportedly bombed convoys or warehouses in Sudan several times over the last few years to prevent weapons from reaching terrorist groups in Gaza. Just last week Sudanese residents reported seeing and hearing explosions, though accounts differed over the location and scale of the explosions. They were quick to point a finger at Israel, but the latter, in keeping with a longstanding policy, declined to comment on the incident. The event sent local forces scrambling and served as yet another embarrassment to President Omar al-Bashir over his regime’s inability to thwart such incursions, or even detect them.

IAF commanders realized the latter goal could be achieved without putting aircraft at risk and without expending fuel or ordnance by simply yanking Sudan’s chain with faux attacks. “Deterrence and actual interdiction of weapons headed for terrorists is of course an important mission, and we will in no way diminish our efforts in that regard,” said the officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “But the other important goal of such missions is to undermine the confidence the people of Sudan have in their leadership and military. By separating the latter function from interdiction operations, we will be able to significantly augment the confidence-busting measures at little or no extra cost without sacrificing operational resources or effectiveness.”

The officer declined to give specifics on how the IAF would accomplish its task, but some experts pointed to strong evidence that Israel had developed mass mind-control techniques that it uses with some regularity, and that causing simultaneous, similar hallucinations in many people at once represents a new advance in that technology. “We’ve seen before how Muslims have been caused to do the craziest, wackiest things that no sane, mature person would do, such as rioting and killing over some people drawing pictures,” said Geert Wilders, who studies Islamic societies. “There is no way that was not caused by Israeli mind-control. I would say that in general, the best way to explain the inexplicable tendency of Israel’s enemies to consistently make irrational choices is to say it’s an Israeli plot.”

Others were less sure of the technological advancement involved. “It could just be a few well-deployed drones and some concussion grenades,” said international relations expert Sasha Baron Cohen. “Some people will believe anything.”