Cumin Rights Watch Says Israel Treating Activists As Spice

Israel has mustard significant personnel for this purpose.

Credit: Michael Day

Basil, Switzerland, October 8 – Executive Director of Cumin Rights Watch Fennel Roth told reporters today that Israel is treating his oreganozation’s personnel as spice, and illegally restricting their movemint.

Roth called a press conference to accuse the Jewish State of implementing anise-pecially harsh policy on his group’s workers, who are engaged in monitoring whether Israel’s laws and policies chive with the principles of cumin rights. He charged that the workers, often volunteers, face marjoram obstacles thrown up by Israel, while all the volunteers seek is to document the saffron of Palestinians under Israeli occupation.

“We do not expect to be welcomed as heroes, but a mere chili reception would be preferable to the sorrel treatment our activists get,” said Roth. “Often the authorities confiscate equipment that could record the treatment verbena, and are left with nothing but the cloves on their backs. It appears that Israel has mustard significant forces for this purpose.”

An Israeli government spokesman dismissed the claims, saying that Roth was getting caraway with his anti-Israel bias. “There is no need to throw a hyssop-fit every thyme a rock-throwing Palestinian is arrested for a salt,” lamented Ministry of Defense spokesman Tav Linn. “I am sorrel that Mr. Roth and his oreganozation focus so much of their attention on democratic Israel while treading much more gingerly when it comes to truly oppressive regimes such as Saudi Arabia.”

“If Mr. Roth would accept it, I wold offer him some sage advice on how to dill with actual violators of cumin rights, instead of currying favor with the Saudis,” continued Linn. “Throughout the Arabian Peninsula, down into Yemen, violations of those rights pepper the landscape, and they get hawaij with it because of the obsession with Israel.”

Roth defended his organization’s behavior. “Extremism in defense of virtue is no cinnamon,” he proclaimed. “I Cayenne stand here and aver that there is no conspiracy to focus on one country – such turmericonology is fenugreek to me. Just as there is no oreganozation called the Elderflowers of Zion running the world behind the scenes, there is no grand attempt to highlight one country more than any other, though we do rue certain unintentional omissions.”

Linn responded with disdain, saying Roth’s tweets spike from themselves. “Cumin Rights Watch could be doing so much good, but they’re parsley scratching the surface of the real violators. Nothing makes me zaatar than wasted potential.”