Your Obtuseness About Why I Want To Kill You Makes Me Want To Kill You

By Ali Mustafa, Daesh fighter

I don’t know how many times we have to say why we want to kill you infidels before you finally take us at our word. Your seeming inability to comprehend why we want to kill you when we make no bones about exactly why we want to kill you is so infuriating, it makes me want to kill you.

Look, it’s straightforward: my religion tells me to subdue and destroy the unbelievers. You’re a bunch of unbelievers. I aim to subdue and destroy you. How hard can that be to grasp?

And yet, pundit after Western pundit, politician after Western politician, diplomat after Western diplomat, keeps finding a billion and a half reasons utterly disconnected from what we’ve been saying for years and years. To hear you Westerners explain it, it’s the disenfranchisement and the lack of economic opportunity and the corrupt political systems under which we live and the Israeli occupation and Western colonialism and OH MY GOD WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TAKE US AT OUR WORD I WANT TO THROTTLE YOU UNTIL YOU DIE AND THEN KICK YOUR CORPSE TILL IT DISINTEGRATES.

Perversely, the very elitism and arrogance so many of you so-called experts blame for this situation is on display when you refuse to accept our simple explanation, and instead try to attribute it to Western policies, as if nothing we Muslims do can be the product of our own culture and society. No, that culture and society can’t possibly be robust enough to account for phenomena with a global impact – it has to be the West’s fault. Muslims can’t do that by themselves! Only OUR Western behavior is important enough to lie at the root of these things! Goodness gracious, you morons. The stupidity born of your arrogance is so frustrating it makes me want to bludgeon you to death.

What does it take to get the message across? We’ve tried beheadings, mass rape, mass shootings, suicide attacks, sniper attacks, grenades, car bombs, and a hundred other methods of conveying the fact that we want to kill you because of who you are, not what you do. We even got an educated Kuwaiti-British fellow to pontificate on video for you to that effect before he cut off Westerners’ heads, and your reaction was to beat your own breasts and wail mea culpa over your society’s role in creating militant Islamism. Idiots. Here, let me do the beating for you. I’ll use a sledge hammer.

You make me so angry with your willful blindness at my unequivocally transparent motivations for killing you that I want to stab you repeatedly with a fork. Goddamn retards.