12 Injured As MKs Trip Over Selves To Condemn Trump

Zionist Union MK Amir Peretz suffered lacerations when his staff mishandled several cutting retorts to Trump.

Jerusalem, December 9 – A dozen Members of Knesset and parliamentary aides were hurt today in the rush to denounce Donald Trump’s remarks about Muslims, as they fell over one another in an attempt to be the most forceful and sound the most wounded tone.

The Republican presidential hopeful and real estate magnate said earlier this week that the US should bar the entry of all Muslims into the country until further notice, including US citizens returning from abroad, amid concerns over Islamist terrorist attacks. Israeli politicians scrambled to burnish their anti-discrimination credentials, taking to the airwaves, social media, and printed materials to declaim their offense on behalf of all enlightened people. In the chaos, twelve suffered some sort of injury, four among them classified as “moderate” and the rest “light.”

MK Michal Rozin of Meretz was the first to sustain injuries as she pulled a groin muscle while straining to voice her shock at the remarks. Magen David Adom paramedics told reporters that Rozin was taken by ambulance to Hadassah Hospital at Ein Kerem, where she was in stable condition. A hospital spokesman said the legislator would be kept under observation for at least two days.

Zionist Union MK Amir Peretz suffered lacerations when his staff mishandled several cutting retorts to Trump. He was treated at the scene. Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu narrowly escaped harm when he retreated to his office just before blowback that resulted from his confirmation that despite his disagreement with the remarks themselves, he would meet the candidate as scheduled on December 28, in keeping with longstanding policy on meeting with all announced presidential contenders who visit Israel. Two staffers, however, were treated for shock.

Paramedics told PreOccupied Territory that overall, the injuries were consistent with the scrum that develops each time politicians see an opportunity to score easy rhetorical or political points by pouncing on a controversial statement. “Three people suffered concussions when their heads collided amid simultaneous pouncing, and a further four injured various muscles in the back, legs, and neck from the sudden movements involved in unplanned flinging of blame, casting of aspersions on political foes, and clumsy attempts to skewer opponents,” said a spokesman. Among the injured were three Opposition and two Coalition lawmakers.

Although he was not part of the scramble, Yisrael Beiteinu chairman Avigdor Liberman was also sent for medical examination and a rabies shot, as associates and family members worried that his silence on Trump’s statements meant the cat got his tongue.