Blatt Dismissal A Setback For Zionist Global Domination

“Cleveland was the obvious choice of locale for avoiding unwanted attention. It’s the last place anyone thinks of in terms of anything important happening.”

Cleveland, January 23 – Officials in Israel’s intelligence and security apparatus voiced concern today that the firing of Cleveland Cavaliers coach David Blatt yesterday put a serious crimp in the nation’s plan to subjugate the rest of human civilization.

A Mossad representative said the organization and its parent group the Elders of Zion had been conducting marathon emergency sessions since the basketball team decided to part ways with Blatt after a disappointing start to the season. According to the officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity citing agency rules, the Elders and their various offshoots now must scramble to find someone else to fill the unique mission that only the head coach of a slightly-better-than-average professional basketball team in some Midwestern backwater can perform.

“We’re at wit’s end,” said the official. “All of our intricate plans and conspiracies depended on Mr. Blatt remaining at the helm of the Cavaliers at least through the end of the 2015-2016 season, but all that has to be put on hold. There are teams of special forces in position in various parts of the world who now have to abort and bug out because of this.” He declined to elaborate on the specific locations or nature of those forces’ missions.

For more than a hundred years, the Elders and the Zionists have used well-placed Jewish figures to facilitate the quiet conquest and control of the global financial, political, media, and economic systems, despite constant loud warnings by concerned parties such as the Ku Klux Klan, Henry Ford, Louis Farrakhan, and Europe. Analysts say Blatt was likely placed in charge of special operations that would have attracted too much attention if performed by a more prominent player in global entertainment such as Steven Spielberg.

“The truth is the more obvious Jewish figures in positions of power have little direct impact on the global Zionist agenda of domination,” explained David Duke, who studies the phenomenon. “The main job of the media moguls, bank officers, lobbyists, and A-list entertainers is to attract the attention of conspiracy theorists as a diversion, to make the more subtle activities of others easier. In that respect, Cleveland was the obvious choice of locale for avoiding unwanted attention. It’s the last place anyone thinks of in terms of anything important happening.”

Not every expert is convinced that Blatt’s dismissal, and the apparent Mossad reaction to it, represent a positive development for the world’s security. “My money is on this all being an elaborate ruse to conceal even more sinister goings-on,” asserted analyst Tronald Dump. “It’s not really like the International Zionist Conspiracy to get caught without a backup plan, as it would seem if you take this story at face value. It’s much more typical and likely that this is much ado about nothing, and that there’s a larger, more insidious phenomenon in play – one in which those who warn against the Zionists and their evil plots end up focusing on entirely the wrong things and thus both fail to accomplish anything of note and strengthen the destructive forces that ultimately undermine society. It’s darkly brilliant. If only there were some way not to be swept up in that.”