Kerry To Female Staff: Wear Burkhas When I Phone Zarif

Kerry will also examine the benefits of removing the Israeli flag from the lobby of the State Department.

Washington, January 30 – US Secretary of State John Kerry ordered the women among his office’s staff to don modest attire in keeping with Islamic sensibilities when he is on his daily phone conversations with Iran’s Foreign Minister Javad Zarif, Department sources reported today.

Following the Vatican’s expression of religious sensitivity in covering nude statues when President Hassan Rouhani visited the compound last week, Kerry came to the realization that was has been missing from the dynamic of his contacts with his counterpart in Tehran was a demonstration that the US is genuinely interested in accommodating Iran’s interests. According to staff members, the secretary told them that it would be easier for the two diplomats to reach understandings on key issues if he, Kerry, could “really see where Javad is coming from.” As such, they said, the secretary ordered all female State Department employees whose duties cause them to appear regularly in his proximity either to come to the office in a burkha or to keep such a modest outfit at the office for when he must phone Zarif.

“I am sure that each of us desires to maximize empathy and understanding in our dealings with Tehran,” wrote Kerry in a memo distributed to Department staff. “To that end, starting February 1 of this year, all female employees of this department will adorn themselves in the traditional Islamic garment known in many places as the burkha, so that we can adopt the right setting for generating a true meeting of the minds when I converse with my Iranian counterpart. Even such minor inconveniences can go a long way to fostering greater understanding between these two great societies, and I thank you for y0ur cooperation in this regard.” The memo also included a list in the DC area of shops specializing in the sale of such garments.

Aides to Kerry said the secretary was considering further measures to create an environment more consistent with the Iran-US rapprochement sought by the Obama administration. “Depending on the success of this policy, Mr. Kerry will also examine the benefits of removing the Israeli flag from the lobby of the State Department complex,” said Deputy State Department Spokesman Mark Toner. “That step, as well as barring Israeli diplomats and officials from meeting with American government representatives, would, we think, go a long way toward moving the United States and Iran toward a mutually beneficial epoch of good relations.”

Toner admitted that they had encountered some resistance from legal advisers on the feasibility and advisability of shifting the Department’s workweek from Monday-Friday to Sunday- Thursday to accommodate the Islamic practice of attending the special Friday prayers.