CBS Joins Competition, Opens Distorted Israel Headlines Dept.

It will no longer leave the tendentious headline-writing only to the likes of CNN, The New York TImes, Reuters, AP, Agence France-Presse, The Guardian, The Times of London, and Al Jazeera.

New York, February 3 – The Columbia Broadcasting Corporation took a major step today toward establishing its credentials as a major player in reportage of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict by posting a distorted, anti-Israel headline mentioning only the deaths of three Palestinians , but not that they died trying to kill Israelis. The move represents the opening salvo in what CBS hopes will place it in the same rarefied company as other media outlets already well practiced in portraying Palestinian attackers as the victims.

A group of three Palestinians in their twenties, armed with knives, guns, and explosives, set upon several Israeli policewomen this afternoon, stabbing and shooting them. The attack injured three Israelis, one of whom later died of her wounds. All three attackers were shot and killed during the incident. CBS’s first headline reported the event as a killing of three Palestinians, conveying no indication either that they were killed while attacking or that their own actions resulted in injury (the policewoman’s death of her injuries occurred afterwards). The headline was written as a replacement for the more accurate and honest one provided by the Associated Press, such that CBS has made a bold statement that it will no longer leave the tendentious headline-writing only to the likes of CNN, The New York TImes, Reuters, AP, Agence France-Presse, The Guardian, The Times of London, and Al Jazeera.

While CBS eventually rewrote the headline, its use of the anti-Israel titling signals merely the opening gambit of the company’s new department created specifically to generate such article titles, said Executive Vice President for News Operations Saeb Erekat. “This is an exciting time for us, and we look forward to taking our bias to the next level,” he gushed.

It is one thing merely to refrain from reporting on Palestinian attacks and begin the narrative from when Israel reacts, and another entirely to reframe an attacker as a victim more or less in real time, explained Erekat. “It’s old-school to report on IDF strikes in Gaza, for example, ignoring the rocket fire the day before that prompted those strikes in the first place. That’s already standard practice in journalism. To play with the big boys, you have to bring your A game, and prove you have what it takes to reverse aggressor and victim under almost any circumstances. That’s what we will do with the staff we’ve assembled.” He noted that there was a plethora of available talent to man the new department with the proper tendentious attitude, now that Al Jazeera America is shutting down.