Mohel Puzzled At Disgust Over ‘Tip Jar’

The man insisted that the tip jar was “disgusting,” “rude,” and “an affront.”

New York, March 7 – Moshe Cohen, 50, voiced confusion this morning after attendees at a circumcision ceremony he was performing said they were appalled by his setting out a small container for tips.

Cohen, a mohel, offers the religious service free of charge to parents of newborn Jewish boys, but welcomes contributions from those in attendance who appreciate that he takes time out of his day for that purpose. However, during this morning’s ceremony, known as a bris, at the Young Israel of West Hempstead on Long Island, a relative of the infant’s parents pointed at the jar labeled “TIPS” that Cohen had set out, and proclaimed for all to hear, “That’s disgusting!”

The mohel recalled that he approached the man after the ceremony had concluded and he had had a chance to counsel the baby’s parents on follow-up care. “I told him he’d really embarrassed me,” said Cohen, a father of seven who performed the bris on all four of his sons. “I do this as a way of helping people when they ask me, sometimes traveling hundreds of miles to perform a bris on time.” In Jewish practice, healthy boys are generally circumcised on their eighth day of life.

The man insisted that the tip jar was “disgusting,” “rude,” and “an affront,” recounted Cohen, but the fellow was apparently too upset to explain what was so rude about a tip jar for the provider of a service, especially one who does not charge. “He could simply not contribute – I’m not demanding anything. This is a service I provide out of a commitment to Jewish continuity,” continued Cohen. “I don’t expect everyone to feel moved to acknowledge my efforts, but this man went out of his way to make me feel awkward, and I’d at least like to know why.”

Cohen said he knows many other mohels, and none of them had encountered such a reaction to their attempts – some of them not so subtle – to defray the costs involved without charging the parents, who might not have the means. “Most of my colleagues make a point of not taking payment to perform a bris, so as not to make people who can’t afford it feel uncomfortable, and as a result refrain from having the bris done, or done at the proper time,” he explained. “Some offer additional optional services they can charge for, such as a special service with singing. Some openly solicit donations from those in attendance. I think my approach is a healthy middle ground. Why would anyone object to a mohel putting out a tasteful, understated jar for tips?”

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