Herzog Bitter He Wasn’t Allowed To Stand On Chair To Ask 4 Questions

“Buji doesn’t want to be coddled, and he repeatedly insists he can handle himself, but the Seder runs pretty late, and it was already past his bedtime.”

Tel Aviv, April 24 – Two days after the Passover Seder, Isaac Herzog still harbors resentment that he wasn’t allowed to stand on a chair to ask the Four Questions, family sources are reporting.

The Opposition Leader and head of the Labor Party and Zionist Union alliance remarked Sunday morning that he was still trying to get over the incident that occurred Friday evening, when he was told to stand up straight like a human being, and that getting on a chair was too dangerous, especially so soon after his car accident.

“I still don’t understand why I can’t do what all the other children do,” he was heard to lament. “It’s not even such a tall chair, and besides, someone can stand next to me the whole time. It’s not fair.”

Traditionally, the smallest child poses the Four Questions at the Seder, as an introduction to discussion of the Israelite Exodus from Egypt. Many families make a point of allowing the child to stand on a chair, both to help make him or her the center of attention and to highlight the out-of-the-ordinary nature of the proceedings, which is the subject of the questions. Herzog, however, was slightly hurt in an automotive incident last week, and his staff is taking extra precautions since then, including not allowing him on the tall slides at the playground.

Observers say the Opposition leader has noticed, and bristles at the way his treatment differs from others’. “Buji doesn’t want to be coddled, and he repeatedly insists he can handle himself, but the Seder runs pretty late, and it was already past his bedtime,” explained HaTnua leader Tzipi Livni, using Herzog’s popular nickname. “It’s no surprise he got cranky about it. I sat him down and explained to him the importance of concessions, even when it hurts emotionally.”

Herzog then reportedly pouted through the entire Maggid section of the Seder, when the story of the Exodus is recounted and expounded upon. While other children received treats for asking and answering various questions about the story and its accompanying rituals, the MK sulked, and his resentment was only exacerbated by the fact that others were receiving such treats while he did not. By the time the family ate the matza, he was heard insisting that the Seder was led incompetently, and that he could do a better, more responsible job. He also insisted on being the one to open the door for Elijah the Prophet, then asked why the door opens at all when they should just have a wall there permanently and not have to worry about who’s there.

When he did finally recite the Four Questions, Herzog hired someone with a deeper voice to deliver them.