Holocaust Denier Notes Bible Suspiciously Doesn’t Mention It

“You won’t find it in the Talmud or medieval Jewish sources either.”

London, May 2 – Controversial historian Brane Liss pressed his case that the Holocaust was faked, citing the telling lack of any such event in the canonical Jewish texts of the Bible.

Liss, 44, combed through the Old Testament looking for any mention of the Holocaust, he told reporters today, but despite three weeks of poring over the text, was unable to find the term even once. Moreover, he claimed, not a single reference to Hitler, Nazis, Eichmann, or anything resembling the phrase “Final Solution to the Jewish Problem” were anywhere to be found in the set of books.

“I’ve been saying for years the Holocaust has been made up out of whole cloth, but this proves even the Jewish sources don’t mention it,” he contended. “It should be clear to everyone now that it’s all a conspiracy to blackmail Germany and play on Western guilt to stifle criticism of Israel and Jews.”

Scholars say that Liss has a point. “You won’t find it in the Talmud or medieval Jewish sources either, you know,” noted Simon Schama, a professor of Jewish History. “And I haven’t taken a comprehensive look, but I’d bet my academic reputation that an exhaustive search of Jewish lore and literature right into the first couple of decades of the twentieth century would garner the same result.”

A cursory look at an online concordance of Biblical terms confirmed Liss’s contention: “concentration camp,” “Auschwitz-Birkenau,” “gas chamber,” “Einsatzgruppen,” and other words or phrases so characteristic of the Holocaust as it is commonly taught appear nowhere in the Jewish Bible. The same holds true for “cattle car,” “Warsaw Ghetto Uprising,” “Anne Frank,” and “yellow Star of David.”

Other researchers were quick to praise Liss for his work. “The simple elegance of his method is nothing short of admirable, said David Irving, who has argued for decades that the Holocaust was a hoax, or at least highly exaggerated. “What better way to demonstrate the fiction of the Holocaust than by using the most Jewish of sources?”

Some, however, sounded a more cautious note. “I’d be wary of calling this an open-and-shut case,” warned Professor Arthur Butz, who argued that the gas chambers at Birkenau were a fraud. “It would be just like the Jews to go back in time and alter the text to say whatever they want it to say, or to just put out a newer version with those terms in it, and up and convince the world that it’s always been that way.”