Hackers To Undermine Israel By Attacking Dry-Cleaner Website

The move is part of an upcoming attempt to bring Israel to its knees.

Iata, Palestinian Territories, May 16 – Members of the clandestine hacker collective known as Anonymous hatched a plan this week to take down the institutions and confidence of the Jewish State by gaining access to and disabling the web presence of a Jerusalem dry-cleaning establishment, a collective representative said today.

A Palestinian hacker calling himself Rogue1 told PreOccupied Territory that as part of an upcoming attempt to bring Israel to its knees and force concessions to Palestinian demands, the group had set as a goal the takeover of the website of Davidka Cleaners, an establishment in downtown Jerusalem that has served the local population for more than twenty years.

“We will follow the example set by comrades who blazed the trail before us, and hack into the website of the criminal Zionist enterprise,” said Rogue1 of the business that provides gainful employment to ten Palestinian residents of Jerusalem. “First we will gain access, then wipe the server and database of all data. Then, in the finest tradition of our people, we will post messages deriding Zionism and Israel, as well as threats that more of this kind of activity is forthcoming if the Jews do not pack up and abandon their colonialist efforts.”

The hacker noted that this attack would incorporate lessons learned from other attempts to intimidate Israelis and Jews in the online world. “Previous efforts sometimes failed at proper targeting of establishments,” he confessed. “Last time we did this, some of our overly eager members engineered the takedown of a website that, it turned out, was for a hairdresser in Chicago, and had nothing to do with Zionism. So we have to be more careful in selecting the sites we seek to compromise.”

Eli Zohar, the owner and proprietor of Davidka, admitted he takes no steps to enhance cybersecurity. “I don’t know what you mean,” he said in response to a reporter’s inquiry. “Am I supposed to post a security guard at the door? No? Then don’t bother me again. Please, we’re very busy, so no drop-offs today after ten-thirty a.m.”

A cybersecurity consultant recommended that every Israeli or Jewish business with an online presence take steps to prevent such attacks. “I think everyone needs to take some rudimentary measures, at least,” said Virgil Rallity. “And I say this not only because I’m looking for new clients.”

A brief online investigation revealed that Davidka Cleaners does not, in fact, have a website.