Abbas To Convene Estates General

“It will be helpful to His Highness King Abbas to consult with hoi polloi and then do as he pleases to preserve his power.”

Versailles, Palestinian Autonomous Territories, May 25 – Faced with an increasing gap between the economic fortunes of the elite governing class and everyone else in Palestinian society, and the simmering threat of unrest that such a situation portends, King Abbas I has decided to hold elections for the advisory assembly for the first time in living memory, a palace spokesman said today.

Speaking from the royal compound built by his illustrious predecessor King Yasser I, who coined the statement, “L’état, c’est moi,” the royal vizier Nabil Aburdeineh told reporters that because the nation faces challenges of epic proportions, it is only fitting for His Highness to convene the Estates General, which will represent the interests of the three groups it contains: aristocracy, clergy, and all other citizens.

Aburdeineh stressed that it may take some time for the body to assemble properly, since elections were last held so long ago that none of the representatives can reasonably claim to represent the current will of his constituency. Given that, the Estates General is likely to be ready for its first session no earlier than this coming winter.

“We must lay the groundwork for this august body to perform its duties,” he explained, duties that do not bind the Crown in any way, but do provide a picture of the interests of each segment of society. “It will be helpful to His Highness Abu Mazen to consult with hoi polloi and then do as he pleases to preserve his power and cement his system of cronyism, rather than simply doing as he pleases to preserve his power and cement his system of cronyism,” he added, using the special honorific for the king that refers to his late son Mazen, the dauphin.

Among the steps to be taken before the assembly can be convened is an adjustment to better reflect the interests and composition of the Third Estate, that of the commoners. Commoner leaders with knowledge of the proceedings within the palace walls had made plain their wish to expand the number of seats in the Estates General allotted to the Third Estate. Aburdeineh said that the request would be accommodated.

“It costs the Crown nothing to grant that wish, since individual seats are not counted – rather, the vote of each estate is considered in the aggregate, and the First and Second Estates will outnumber the Third in any case, so nothing is expected that will will affect the existing order,” he noted.

Members of the Third Estate had not been informed of this development, but had other pressing concerns. “I hope they let us eat cake,” said one.