Hitler Accuses Trump Campaign Of Plagiarizing Nazi Playbook

“You can tell he’s taking a page out my playbook – no, he’s taking my playbook and using it without permission, the bastard.”

Cleveland, July 19 – Amid the backlash against apparent plagiarism by the wife of the presumptive GOP presidential nominee in her speech at the Republican National Convention, former German Chancellor Adolph Hitler charged that beyond mere copying of passages from a 2008 address by Michelle Obama, the Trump campaign has been copying Hitler’s own techniques for gaining attention, manipulating the media, and generating popular support.

Media and critics latched onto the word-for-word echo of Ms. Obama that Melania Trump used in her speech Monday night, but Hitler, who founded Nazism and led Germany from late 1933 to April 1945, said that the pattern of plagiarism surrounding Trump goes far beyond mere copying of words, into the realm of wholesale stealing of methods for attracting and sustaining the support of the masses through the use of propaganda.

“Vanity Fair magazine published testimony from his ex-wife in 1990 that Trump kept a book of my speeches at his bedside, and read from it regularly,” said Hitler, whose antisemitic and xenophobic ethos suffused Nazi ideology and policy. “You can tell he’s taking a page out my playbook – no, he’s taking my playbook and using it without permission, the bastard.”

The German leader noted some of the more egregious similarities between his methods and Trump’s behavior. “Where to begin? He latched onto a specific group that he says poses a threat to the American way of life – first Mexicans, then Muslims – who have to be stopped; he appeals to the lowest common denominator; he isn’t bothered by inconsistencies or contradictions in his rhetoric; he cultivates a comparatively uneducated following in whose eyes he can do no wrong; he proposes sweeping policies that would undermine some of Western civilization’s core values; and he uses media coverage of his outrageous statements as a means to thrust himself front and center into the national  – even international – limelight. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but Trump, despite his German ancestry, is not the kind of guy I want flattering me. Ew.”

“There are also more subtle things,” added Hitler. “I’ve always wanted to get my hands on a piece of Czechoslovakia, and that’s what he did when he married Ivana. His current wife is from Slovenia, and I eventually took that, too. I adopted the goose-step from Russian sources, and he’s huge fan of Putin.”

“Oh, he’ll try to deny it and blame everything on the media – again, in imitation of me – and then point to unimportant differences to refute the claims of plagiarism,” he continued. “Like his daughter who converted and married a Jew. So what? A whole bunch of Nazis had descendants who supported Jews or converted outright.”

“I’m not going to be thrilled when, like me, he commits suicide in a bunker somewhere after bringing utter destruction to his nation, but at least then it will be over,” concluded Hitler.