Me Have Solution To Arab-Israeli Conflict

By Cookie Monster

People think just because me a monster, me not have sophisticated view of world. They also think because me focused on cookies, me not give due consideration to weighty issues. People make big mistake. Me have ideas that include solution to Arab-Israeli conflict.

Me share those ideas momentarily, but first me want to take opportunity to remind you not to judge anyone by the way they speak. Me not use standard grammar and syntax, yet me capable of complex thought and analysis. You just have to listen. That the key.

That also the key to solving Arab-Israeli conflict. Me bet you thought me would suggest everyone focus on cookies and forget about other problems! Me admit that would be good idea, too, but unfortunately not everyone like cookies. Me not understand what horrible genetic mutation responsible for such sensibilities, but it reality. So me harbor no illusions that cookies a panacea – as difficult as that for me to admit.

Not that cookies not play a part in the solution – cookies must be part of EVERY solution. Cookies part of compensation package for Palestinian descendants of refugees, for example. They hold on to old keys, and keys symbolic of property left behind in 1948 – but of course one cannot say “cookies” without the word “keys” – naturally, it part of solution. Me surprise you with that observation, me know.

Problem not with refugee descendants themselves – problem with Palestinian leadership and host countries who not allow them full citizenship and use statelessness as political weapon. But cookies also play part in solution to that dilemma: provide enough cookies as incentive to Lebanon, Jordan, Syria, and other countries that discourage Palestinian integration, and problem disappears as quickly as plate of cookies. Omnomnomnomnomnomnom.

Me get asked what Israel’s role in this solution. Good question. Israel can supply cookies. Not cookies they produce right now. Israeli cookies just plain awful. Me not have very high standards when it comes to cookie quality – quantity far more important – but Israeli cookies not up to snuff. Other countries must step in with aid package to allow Israeli cookie production to meet minimum quality requirements for this to work. Decent chocolate chips a good start.

Me realize solution appears to involve only cookies after all. Me cannot say me all that surprised. Can ideas  – or solutions to problems – ever be complete if they not involve cookies?

Me should have known.