No, Mr. Abraham’s Servant, I’m Not Getting On A Camel With No Seatbelt

By Rebecca, daughter of Bethuel

It is an honor for you to have come all this way to betroth me as a wife for the son of your master, sir. I am prepared to make the journey, and to become married to your master’s son, and I thank you for the generous gifts for me and my family. But I cannot simply mount one of these camels for the journey back to Canaan – not a single one has a seatbelt, for crying out loud!

They are lovely camels, to be sure. Obviously well-bred and well-treated. And there are enough of them to seat me and my maidservants comfortably for the ride. Life in a household with such obvious wealth and care is exactly what everyone dreams of. I just cannot fathom how that care and concern does not extend to the time spent atop one of these fine creatures. I refuse to risk my life and safety – nor the life and safety of my maidservants – on camels not equipped with seatbelts.

Have you had any look at the fatality statistics in camel crashes where those mounted on the animals were not wearing seatbelts? It’s horrific. Even simple accidents can be injurious, traumatic, or fatal if one is improperly secured in the saddle. I would think a person of your refinement and background would already be familiar with these considerations.

Do not give me that nonsense about being trapped in a seatbelt! The chances of that happening are far more remote than being saved by the restraint in case of a crash. What’s more, even non-crash situations require the safety and security that only a seatbelt can provide. My maidservants and I would feel much safer along the inevitable bumps and dips of the road if we were properly secured in our seats.

It doesn’t even have to be a retractable shoulder-belt, either. For the speed at which these camels will be traveling, a lap belt is sufficient. Those should be the easiest kind to install – I fail to see how such a thoughtful household, with such thoughtful masters and staff, could miss such a glaring need. It almost makes me question my acceptance of this marriage proposal.

Thank you for your understanding. Yes, I will wait while you improvise something, and I will let you know whether it meets minimum safety standards.

Also, are there side-impact airbags on this thing?