Student’s Intransigence Class Conflicts With Dehumanization Of Jews

Principal Aiwil Qillem was unavailable for comment.

Khan Yunis, September 5 – A week into the academic year, a sophomore at the local UNRWA secondary school has discovered that two of his courses in raising the next generation of terrorists and antisemites are scheduled to take place at the same time, putting him in a bind.

Maher Shallalhashbaz, 15, expected to follow much the same timetable as last year, when his classes in diplomatic intransigence and in the dehumanization of Jews took place consecutively. However, a look at his Tuesday schedule this afternoon showed that he was enrolled in the next level classes for both subjects, which take place at the same time. Shallalhashbaz plans to speak to the principal and both instructors tomorrow as soon as he reaches school.

“I don’t know how it happened, and I seem to be the only one in my grade with the conflict,” said the student, the second child of seven. “My older brother Nimr didn’t have this problem three years ago.” Nimr was killed in the 2014 war between Israel and Hamas, when he was shot by an Israeli sniper before he could detonate a roadside bomb. The teen was lauded by Hamas as a martyr killed in battle and given a military funeral, but the UN and various human rights organizations insisted he was a noncombatant.

Principal Aiwil Qillem was unavailable for comment, but the instructors of both courses said they would try to resolve the difficulty before the first session takes place. “We had to shift some of the classes around because many of the students have been drafted to dig tunnels, and we had to accommodate those demands. I guess Maher fell through the cracks, so to speak,” explained Intransigence instructor Ayyam Araq. “This better be resolved soon, because the sophomore year is when the intensity really picks up, and Maher will have a tough time keeping up with the rest of the curriculum, even in its newer, more integrated and efficient format.”

“We used to have separate sections for my Dehumanization of Jews class, but with so many students out in the tunnels, those have been collapsed into one,” added Khinzir al-Qarrad. “We and the administration must have missed Maher in the mix, because everyone else was available, and I guess somebody just made the same assumption about him. I hope he doesn’t have to miss anything extracurricular to make up for either section, because I think he’d be perfect for the after-school Qassam Rocket construction and launching program I’ll be running.”