Ancient Palestinians Tired Of Zionist Time-Travelers Planting Jewish Evidence

Palestinians remain loath to approach the authorities about the phenomenon; they fear their claims will be dismissed as nonsensical.

Bet Shemesh, October 26 – Palestinian farmers of the tenth century Before the Common Era have grown weary of Zionist conspirators from the distant future appearing and planting evidence of ancient Jewish civilization, local representatives reported today.

Idyllic, pastoral Palestine has long known conquest and occupation, with rule shifting from one foreign ruler to another over the centuries, but the simple, peace-loving indigenous Palestinians have clung to the land. Lately, however, strange people from a different time and place have come from nowhere to build structures, bury artifacts, and falsify the history of Palestine.

“They call themselves ‘Zionists’ whatever that means,” observed Abdul Hassan, who speaks Arabic which the Zionists have made you think would appear in Palestine only many centuries later. “When I asked one of them what they were doing on my family’s land, he laughed and said in time, no one would ever believe it was ever my land – that he and his associates were from the future, and were making sure someone called the ‘Jews’ were recognized as the indigenous inhabitants. It was all very weird.”

“But then it happened again, and neighbors began talking about the same thing happening to them,” continued Hassan. “Pretty soon the whole countryside was awash in these tales of people who came from a different time, set on altering something called ‘history.’ I don’t even know what that is. All I know is they get in the way of my farming and herding with increasing frequency lately, and I’ve got a family to feed here.”

Palestinians remain loath to approach the authorities about the phenomenon; they fear their claims will be dismissed as nonsensical. If the Zionist visitors keep returning, however, their activities threaten serious disruption to the natives’ existence, and Hassan’s clan may have no choice but to enlist government action. The farmers and herders nevertheless remain reluctant to take such a step, not least because no one seems to know who the sovereign Palestinian government is, where it sits, or what it does, but none of the Palestinians in the area will admit to such ignorance.

“Do you suppose the Zionists have gotten to them already?” wondered Ali Watan of a neighboring clan. “I mean, if they can change their past, why can’t they change ours? Maybe we used to have our own government but they covered up or destroyed all evidence of it. You can’t know for sure, can you?”

“It’s all so post-modern, you know?” he mused.

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