Licking Election Coverage Wounds, NY Times To Publish Column By ISIS Leader

“A direct encounter with what these people have to say is preferable than to have it filtered through the lens of our editorial sensibilities.”

New York, November 22 – A post-election assessment of the slanted coverage the publication produced during the campaign has led the paper of record to opt for a new openness and flexibility in selecting whose opinions and analysis to place on its op-ed pages, and the first out-of-the-box columnist the paper will showcase is Abu-Bakr Al-Baghdadi, the self-proclaimed Khalif of the Islamic State.

New York Times Editor Dean Baquet announced this morning (Tuesday) that the board had determined that voices outside the liberal bubble must be allowed onto the paper’s opinion pages, to correct the limited view the Times had both adopted and generated among its readers, and which proved inadequate to the task of accurately portraying the country leading up to Election Day. The bastion of liberal journalism and analysis, and the left-leaning intelligentsia it serves, were blindsided by the sweeping Republican electoral gains far beyond Donald Trump’s victory in the presidential race. Baghdadi, he said, would be but the first of numerous contributors whose opinions the pper will now publish.

“The head of Daesh is just the beginning,” announced Baquet. “We will soon conclude agreements with such personalities as David Duke, Louis Farrakhan, David Irving, and Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, just to name a few. This expanded roster of contributors will help the Times and its readers gain both a broader and more nuanced picture of the world, and be better informed about developing trends – a result we did not manage to produce before this election.”

Previously, explained Baquet, the Times relied on indirect or report of such personalities’ views, and that has proved inadequate. “We do injustice to the Islamic supremacist, white supremacist, and Holocaust-denial perspectives when we shut them out of our perception, and I think our readers agree that a direct encounter with what these people have to say is preferable than to have it filtered through the lens of our editorial sensibilities – sensibilities that the recent election results have demonstrated are not up to the task,” he added.

In his first column for the Times next week, Baghdadi has been invited to explain to the Times readership why they deserve to die a violent death, how his organization plans to arrange those deaths, and what timetable, if any, the Khalif has in mind for attaining such a complex goal. “I’m excited to hear what he has to say when he speaks directly to us,” gushed columnist Nick Kristoff. “It’s about time this paper took a more tolerant stand toward Muslims.”

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