Ephron In Hiding From Palestinians After Selling Land To Abraham

MK Haj Yahiah repeated the call to kill Ephron.

Somewhere near Hebron, December 11 – A Hittite man who struck a lucrative real estate deal with a Hebrew patriarch was forced to conceal his whereabouts after receiving death threats from Palestinians opposed to the sale of any part of Palestine to Jews.

Ephron, the previous owner of the Machpelah Cave and the field to which it is attached, went into hiding this week after word got out among Palestinians that he had sold the land to Abraham as a burial plot for his late wife Sarah. Palestinian law bars such transactions on pain of death, and the sentiment that the sellers of land to Jews deserve to be killed is widely accepted in Palestinian society.

Abraham had approached the Hittites after attending to Sarah’s immediate post-mortem needs, to determine whether Ephron would be willing to part with Machpelah. After brief negotiations, the two men arrived at an enormous sum – four hundred silver shekels – and the land transfer was completed in a public ceremony. Ephron, however, had little time to enjoy the proceeds before being forced underground by Palestinians intent on punishing him for such a treacherous act.

“What the hell is their problem?” wondered a relative who insisted on anonymity, given the dangers. “These people should be happy that someone is investing in the land. The buyer is the same one who’s been digging numerous useful wells between here and the Mediterranean. What do these idiots want – for someone to stop up those wells because they were dug by the wrong kind of person? Bunch of bastards is what they are.”

A spokesman for the Palestinians repeated the call to kill Ephron. MK Haj Yahiah told reporters, “This land is Palestinian, and it is a betrayal of the land and the Palestinian people to sell even the smallest part to a Jew. Death is perfectly appropriate a penalty for such an offense.” He railed against those who would compromise on such an important principle even for the huge sum that Ephron received, and warned of the wave of land purchases by Abraham’s descendants that will inevitable result if the Machpelah sale is allowed to pass with anything but significant penalty.

“One of these days a Jew is going to buy some important piece of land here and we’re going to be forced to spend the rest of time denying it ever happened,” he predicted. “You think we want to get into that mess?”

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