Egypt Restricts Child Marriage: Minimum Bride Price Now 13 Goats

“Our girls are worth more than that.”

Hirbun a-Tahta, Egypt, January 30 – In an effort to crack down on underage marriage, authorities in Egypt have set the minimum price to pay for a child bride at 13 goats, Ministry of the Interior sources reported today.

Ministry spokesman Bedda Fayyil called a press conference to announce the marriage registration regulation changes, which imposed the thirteen-goat minimum after years of internal societal debate on the merits and harmful effects of the practice on women and families. Previously, he noted, families were free to sell their underage daughters into marriage for any price at all, a phenomenon that the government sees as damaging to the dignity of the bride and her family, and will now limit accordingly.

“If this country hopes to be part of the developed world, many of our societal attitudes will have to shift,” acknowledged Fayyil. “In previous years we have taken aim at Female Genital Mutilation, a measure that opponents characterized as an attack on tradition. We succeeded in restricting the phenomenon to parts of Egypt where Western human rights groups don’t set foot, and have thus burnished the country’s image.”

“Now the practice of marrying children will be strictly regulated,” he continued. “It is a shameful thing to price a bride at less than thirteen healthy goats. Our girls are worth more than that. Henceforth, no marriage will be registered until the families can demonstrate, with proper receipts, that the price paid for a bride under the age of 16 was at least thirteen goats.” He added that for purposes of the new regulation, one camel will equal ten goats, one sheep equals three quarters of a goat, and a relative working in a government ministry or the armed forces is worth seventy-two goats.

Conservative groups assailed the new measure. “It’s not just an attack on our traditional way of life – it disproportionately affects the poor,” charged Tayeqmi Asmalwan, a village elder. “Young men whose families cannot afford to pay thirteen goats to marry off their sons will be unable to ensure continuity, and care in their old age. The restrictions will also exacerbate social upheaval, as young men unable to marry will join Islamic-State-allied groups, which allow their men to rape and forcibly marry whomever.”

Some fathers are already counting their figurative livestock. “I have six daughters. This could rescue us economically,” gushed a car mechanic who declined to give his name. “With thirteen goats I could afford to buy a share in the local human trafficking ring that sells Eritrean and Somali women as sex slaves. I gotta get me a piece of that, so to speak.”

Please support our work through Patreon.