Meretz Proposes Making Doublespeak An Official Language

The Meretz Euphemism-Required-Doublespeak Enactment (1984)(2017) (MERDE)

Jerusalem, February 16 – Legislators from the far-left Meretz Party seek to establish Doublespeak as an official language of Israel alongside Hebrew and Arabic, a statement by the party announced today.

Officials from Meretz distributed the statement this morning and referred to a draft proposal they intend to submit to the Knesset this legislative session, aimed at enshrining euphemism and deceptive language into government administration and publications. If it passes the law would obligate the government to issue all of its documents in Doublespeak, much as all government publications, signs, and documents currently must by law be made available in both Hebrew and Arabic.

The Meretz Euphemism-Required-Doublespeak Enactment (1984)(2017), or MERDE, as it is currently known, would obligate the government to issue, in every formal language it uses, terms that mask the true nature of the entity or act it addresses. The bill itself contains an appendix with 175 terms to be used in all government communication, including speeches made by government officials acting in the capacity of their office. A special committee would meet monthly to discuss revisions and additions to the list as circumstances develop.

Chief among the terms is “incitement,” which MERDE defines as “anything said by a right-wing politician.” Thus, the minutes of Knesset plenum addresses and committee or faction meetings would be required to precede every line of speech by Likud, Jewish Home, or Yisrael Beiteinu MKs – or MKs in other parties who lean to the right – with the MK’s name and the phrase, “incited as follows:” The committee would similarly have authority over which parties and MKs are defined as “right-wing” and therefore automatically subject to the terms of MERDE.

A second prominent term on the list is “peace,” which MERDE ordains can only be used to refer to a situation in which Israel has surrendered its security or sovereignty to an Arab Palestinian state that has genocidal ambitions. Statements in support of anything short of full surrender to Arab demands that the Jewish State be dismantled would be referred to by law as “warmongering,” “obstructionism,” or some variation suitable to the context. Similarly, the term “terrorism” would be reserved only for violent acts or rhetoric by Israelis against Arabs or left-wing Jews, while the law would mandate that identical actions by Arabs of any nationality be referred to as “legitimate resistance to occupation.”

A Meretz spokeswoman noted that Meretz and others on the Israeli left have been employing these Doublespeak terms for many years. “Come on – who really believes the Oslo arrangements were an ‘Accord’?” spat MK Ilan Gilon. “This has the greatest potential to catch on since the Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere.”

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