Israel Announces New Construction In Settlements; World Ends Again

Jerusalem, Israel (AP) – Israel announced final approval for the construction of 1,500 residential units in a neighborhood of Jerusalem that it captured in the 1967 war, causing the end of the world yet again. The occurrence marks the latest in a series of hundreds of construction projects that have brought about the complete and irreversible cessation of human civilization on Earth.

The move prompted condemnation from Palestinians, the United States, and the European Union, who each called on Israel not to bring all of world culture and human achievement crashing down by granting formal approval for several hundred buildings to be built on a dozen barren hillsides abutting an existing neighborhood. The neighborhood, called Ramat Shlomo, lies on the other side of the Green Line, the boundary that marked the 1948 cease-fire between Israel and Jordan. Each instance of Israeli clearing, digging, infrastructure development, or construction on the side that was occupied by Jordan between 1948 and 1967 has resulted in the permanent annihilation of every accomplishment that mankind has ever held dear.

“Building approvals are irreversible crimes,” the EU stated in its condemnation, contrasting the violation with the killings of Israelis by Palestinian militants. The EU was especially disturbed by the prospect of Jews living outside existing construction, as it goes against a thousand years of European sensibilities limiting the areas where Jews have been allowed to live or own land, if at all. Once Jews do live somewhere, argues the EU, it is exceedingly difficult to remove them, citing the resources necessary for the Nazis and their many European collaborators in deporting and exterminating millions of Jews during World War II.

Palestinians echoed Europe’s concerns, but emphasized local considerations. “No Israeli residential structure has ever been dismantled, and no Jews have ever been forced to abandon their homes, making this move especially egregious,” added Palestine Liberation Organization Executive Committee member Hanan Ashrawi, specifically not referring to the 2005 Israeli removal of thousands of Israeli citizens from its settlements in the Gaza Strip. “This announcement is a clear indication that Israel does not intend to abide by any commitments to which it agrees in negotiations.”

Those negotiations included a provision for the release of hundreds of Palestinians convicted by Israel of various crimes, including murder. Under the terms of that arrangement, earlier this week Israel released 26 Palestinians convicted of murder. “This happens every time,” lamented US Secretary of State John Kerry, who is closely involved in ongoing Israeli-Palestinian negotiations. “Palestinians achieve something – such as the propaganda victory of the release of men with Israeli blood on their hands – and Israel feels compelled to tilt the balance in the other direction to suit its electorate, but inevitably, they end up with a policy that always spells the immediate, violent end of the world. Every time.”