Observers At Abbas-Gal-On Meeting Unsure Which More Irrelevant

“Their factions haven’t held sway in long time, but they’re still acting as if they matter. It’s kind of pathetic.”

Ramallah, August 21 – Aides and other officials present at a meeting yesterday between Meretz Party Chairwoman Zahava Gal-On and Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas spent much of the encounter and its immediate aftermath wondering which of the two figures represents a less relevant faction that the other, but were unable to reach firm conclusions.

Gal-On and Abbas met at the latter’s presidential compound in the de facto Palestinian capital of Ramallah Sunday to discuss prospects for a peace agreement between Israel and the Palestinians, a conflict in which Abbas is widely thought to represent a moderate, compromising approach to Israel, and Gal-On to represent the conciliatory camp of Israelis willing to relinquish strategic assets to reach a peace agreement. In practice, however, others in attendance at the Muqat’a noted how small a slice of their respective constituencies the two leaders actually represent, then attempted to determine which of the two has a more laughable claim to relevance.

“Wow, I’m not sure either of these people can speak for more than a small fraction of their respective polities,” realized Sur Reel, a Muqat’a administrative staff member. “Their factions haven’t held sway in long time, but they’re still acting as if they matter. It’s kind of pathetic.”

“What are we doing here again?” wondered Laurel Evanti, a Meretz functionary. “I know Ms. Gal-On feels important for a change when she gets to meet with a ‘world leader’ such as Abu Mazen, but really? This is the last man in the world with anything useful to say about how Israelis and Palestinians are going to settle their differences once and for all, if they even can. And this is the last woman in the world to convince Israelis to make painful concessions after twenty years of Oslo’s violent failure.”

“These irrelevance Olympics are comical,” mused Barqub Rongtri, a journalist present at the proceedings. “There is no way Abbas would ever convince his people to accept a peace deal, and there is no way Gal-On could ever convince hers to offer enough to allow Abbas to even attempt it. Israeli voters will never trust the Oslo partisans to do that again, and Abbas and his cronies offer Palestinians nothing but corruption and oppression, with no real vision for the future. Why either of these clowns thinks they have a chance to make a difference in the end, as opposed to merely extending the bloody illusion they’ve been living, is beyond me.”

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