Out-Of-Order Toilet Stall In Knesset To Be Named For Trump

Two lawmakers objected to the proposal, arguing that the clog-prone toilet should be named for other, more worthy candidates, perhaps people closer to home.

Jerusalem, December 28 – Reports of discussions surrounding a proposal to name a future train station near the Western Wall after US President Donald Trump in appreciation of his decision to recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s capital led the Knesset Ceremonial Committee to develop and approve a smaller token of esteem for him, in the form of a dedication plaque on the door of a bathroom stall in the parliament building where the toilet suffers perpetual blockages and sits out of order more often than usable.

The Committee decided to honor the president after hearing reports Wednesday of intention to name the train station after him, amid realizations that construction of the station, which has yet to begin, will take years, and the power of the gesture will be lost. The clogged toilet in the Knesset’s second-floor bathroom, however, is already available. A dedication ceremony will take place Sunday, and invitations have been sent to US Ambassador David Friedman and other dignitaries.

“We would have liked to have Vice President Pence here for the occasion,” lamented Committee Chairwoman MK Asla Lavie (Tory). “But he had to postpone his trip till next month. It would have been fitting to have him affix the ceremonial plaque, but we can have Ambassador Friedman do it, and that will be OK.”

MK Lavie disclosed that the decision to name the toilet stall after Trump met some resistance within the committee. “The proceedings of our sessions remain private,” she cautioned, “but I am at liberty to reveal, in general terms, that at least two lawmakers objected to the proposal, arguing that the clog-prone toilet should be named for other, more worthy candidates, perhaps people closer to home.” She declined to elaborate on the identities of either those who objected or those whom they wished to see associated with a festering puddle of human waste, but averted her gaze from MK Haneen Zoabi.

Such recognition has taken place before: the committee honored then-Coalition Whip MK David Bitan earlier this year with the dedication of a plaque over the receptacle in the Knesset cafeteria for used, greasy cafeteria trays. In 2016, a coffee stain on the carpet in the hallway leading to legislators’ offices was named in honor of former Prime Minister Ehud Barak. And earlier that year, the committee deliberated naming the storage containers for the grounds’ lawn fertilizer after the architects of the Oslo process. The latter proposal met its demise when groundskeepers testified before the committee that they no longer use manure for the purpose.

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