Muslims Not Taking Setbacks As Warnings Allah Intended

In relationships with mankind modeled in other faiths, Allah noted, the temporal success of an endeavor did not perforce indicate His endorsement.

Janna, April 15 – The Supreme Being voiced frustration today at some of His followers’ tendency to accept successes and conquests as evidence of divine sanction for their pursuits, but attributing failures or shortcomings to other factors such as infidel perfidy.

Allah told several ministering angels over the weekend that He will not tolerate the inconsistency much longer among followers of Muhammad, who appear to have defined the religion’s initial success in spreading across the world through warfare as the default state of affairs, thus relegating any reversals in that trend to the category of evil opposition to God’s will.

“It is not a source of pleasure to Me, to put it mildly,” stated the Lord. “The absolutism that characterizes the dominant strains of Islam will not end well.”

In relationships with mankind modeled in other faiths, Allah noted, the temporal success of an endeavor did not perforce indicate His endorsement. “I allowed corrupt empires to flourish for hundreds of years at a time, and no one would claim that the Neo-Babylonians or the Seleucids were paragons of virtue,” He recalled. “They rose and fell, and the wise among them warned of the excesses or corruption that would ultimately bring their downfall.”

“But suddenly along come the followers of Muhammad, and believe they can do no wrong in My eyes no matter how much wrong they do,” He continued with a shake of the divine head, as it were. “They claim to venerate the Biblical prophets, who railed against exploitation of the weak, against hypocrisy, against selfishness, against arrogance, but ignore the substance of those prophets’ message. The Islamic empire has been fragmenting and receding for the vast majority of its existence at this point, but to hear Islamic supremacists tell it, everything is hunky-dory, and all the problems are caused by non-believers and heretics. Muslims should just continue as they were, never questioning their assumptions or path. Yeah, that’s always worked. Good call.”

Estimates differ on how much longer Allah will permit the situation to persist. “He hasn’t disclosed His intentions yet,” cautioned Archangel Gabriel. “But Allah is nothing if not patient. Unlike certain people who resort to violence if their demands aren’t met in full immediately. My guess is that He’ll just let the retrenchment, decay, and denial continue until the problem disappears into oblivion with most of its practitioners. It may take a while yet, but there’s no rush. It’s been more than a thousand years already.”

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