Hamas Executing Human Shields Who Failed To Keep Its Men From Getting Shot

Al-Zahar declined to specify the number of designated human shield/martyrs slated for execution as a result of the fiasco.

Gaza City, June 5 – The militant Islamist organization behind much of the rioting over the last several months at the border fence between Israel and this coastal territory has begun implementing the death penalty against unarmed protesters tasked with serving as protection from Israeli sniper fire for the movement’s members, following reports that more than 80% of protesters killed by Israeli gunfire amid the unrest were active members of Hamas.

A spokesman for the organization told reporters that if the human shields could not fulfill expectations by absorbing Israeli fire and thus facilitating a narrative of wanton slaughter of unarmed demonstrators, then they have forfeited their value and the movement will dispose of them.

“We worked for months to ensure a large number of human shields – we thought they were guaranteed to become martyrs, and informed them of same – to serve a dual purpose,” explained Mahmoud al-Zahar. “One purpose was to shield our operatives as the latter approached the fence to breach it and gain access to the enemy’s rear. But the other, perhaps more important, was to be killed to create the picture of the Zionists gunning down unarmed protesters, further delegitimizing their international standing and maintaining the argument that the Zionist Entity has no right to persist.”

“But a significant number of these would-be martyrs failed to complete their mission,” he continued. “So poor was the performance, in fact, that more than four fifths of the fatalities from various Israeli countermeasures came from our core membership. That represents an intolerably high proportion, and way out of line with the expectations generated in previous violent encounters such as the war in 2014.”

Al-Zahar declined to specify the number of designated human shield/martyrs slated for execution as a result of the fiasco. “Investigations are ongoing,” he added. “Some failed martyrs may have convincing explanations for their situation, and we do not have a final figure at this stage.”

Observers note that some confusion has occurred in discerning defendants accused of failing to die as human shields from defendants accused of collaborating with Israel. “There’s a pecking order in the prison cells,” commented analyst Raul Panim. “No one wants to be the guy accused of collaboration, even though a good ninety percent of those charges are leveled by bitter neighbors or parties to ongoing feuds. You end up with more people claiming to be accused of failing to die as human shields than participated in the demonstrations.”

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