Banks Pulling Out Of Iran Relieved To Still Be Able To Sponsor Antisemites At Home

Firms find a silver lining in being able to identify and support causes through sponsorship of events and groups in Britain such as Roger Waters, War on Want, and others with unassailable antisemitic bona fides.

London, July 12 – Financial services companies issued metaphorical sighs of relief this week upon realizing that despite being forced to withdraw from business in the Islamic Republic of Iran in the face of American sanctions against the Khamenei regime, they will still enjoy numerous opportunities to provide support for Jew-haters in their own countries.

The Trump administration reimposed severe economic sanctions on Iran’s government and associated entities over their continued pursuit of nuclear weapons, which will take effect this autumn. While other parties to the 2015 JCPOA arrangement under which the Obama administration removed sanctions have not dropped out the agreement, corporations in those countries must now choose between continuing to do business in Iran and having access to the US market, the loss of which would cripple those enterprises. Fortunately, those firms now realize, they need not abandon support for anti-Jewish causes or events, as their home countries already offer myriad ways in which to promote antisemitic artists and groups.

British banking giant HSBC began preparations in earnest for complete pullout of its personnel and dealings in Iran two months ago after US President Donald Trump announced American withdrawal from the deal and the reimposition of sanctions. Executives remarked that losing Iranian contracts represents the lesser of two evils in comparison to giving up hundreds of billions of dollars in potential revenue from business with US-based business that they would sacrifice by staying in Iran – and that even without contributing to the economy and prosperity of Iranian entities bent on destroying Israel and targeting Jews all over the world with terrorist attacks, the firm found a silver lining in being able to identify and support analogous causes through sponsorship of events and groups in Britain such as Roger Waters, War on Want, and others with unassailable antisemitic bona fides.

“It’s a real relief for us,” admitted VP for Marketing Kris Talnacht. “We were concerned that by letting go of our contracts with Iranian entities we’d forfeit a valuable channel to help underwrite the world’s most virulent source of Jew-hate and anti-Jewish violence. But it turns out Britain has no shortage of movements and performers who hate Jews and Israel from right here. While it’s not the same as enabling a regime that vows to destroy the world’s only Jewish state and that bankrolls the world’s most violent terrorist groups, it’s certainly only a step or two removed from it, and it will have to suffice for now.”

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