UN Condemns Israel For High Priest Throwing Palestinian Goat Off Cliff On Yom Kippur

 “Generations upon generations of Palestinian farmers have tilled the soil thus desecrated, and suffer the humiliation of occupation.”

Geneva, September 1 – The United Nations Human Rights Council this afternoon issued the latest in a series of dozens of denunciations of Israel, citing the Day of Atonement ritual involving a he-goat sent hurtling backwards over a cliff in what the Council considers Palestinian territory.

The Azazel ritual, in which an animal symbolically carrying the sins of Israel is dismembered by the rocks on its way down a Judean Desert promontory, served as the most recent target of the body’s criticism Monday, following complaints by pro-Palestinian activists that the ancient rite constitutes a violation of international law and goats forcibly taken from Palestinians. Council Resolution 911 pronounced the Day of Atonement practice illegal, and called on the international community to pressure Israel into ending its hold on “Palestinian lands.”

“This ‘Azazel’ ritual, as it is known, violates Palestinian sovereignty by defiling sacred Palestinian land with Jewish feet,” read the resolution, as drafted by an advisory committee in Ramallah. “Generations upon generations of Palestinian farmers have tilled the soil thus desecrated, and suffer the humiliation of occupation.”

A Palestinian representative expressed satisfaction that the resolution passed unanimously. “Ever since the US dropped out of the Council it’s been easier than ever to have things go our way,” stated Nabil Shaath. “Of course some of the fun and the challenge are gone, but every chance to bash Israel on the international stage is welcome.”

In the ritual, last performed in the first or second century CE, the High Priest of Israel uses a lottery to select the fates of two identical billy goats. The one selected “for the LORD” is slaughtered and has its blood applied to the altar, whereas the one selected “for Azazel” has the nation’s sins placed upon it and is then escorted to a cliff in the desert hills east of Jerusalem, where the escort pushes the animal over the edge. Divine acceptance of the nation’s repentance then causes a piece of red fabric to turn white.

Palestinian activists noted how even the details of the ritual, outlined in Leviticus and elaborated in the Talmud, are calculated to offend Palestinians. “They stole the idea of mistreating livestock from us,” insisted Ali Abunimah. “It would never have occurred to those Jews to do anything to goats unless they’d seen the way we strap bombs to donkeys to send at Israeli soldiers. Talk about cultural appropriation. There’s no atonement for an offense of that magnitude.”

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